Chapter Four
Preparations
We
got to hang out together while the porch was being built… Confessions of a Teenage Hermit
Ben’s dad was the builder hired to extend
our beach house and Ben came along to help out. My older sister was too busy
socializing (and bossing the decorators hired to restore the inside of the
beach house), to notice Ben’s arrival. Later she wondered aloud, “he’s cute but
isn’t he too young for a job?”
“He’s just helping his dad,” I said.
My sister shrugged, unimpressed.
Ben’s Dad parked his car on the street
and that’s when my father magnanimously stepped up and offered them the guest
house to stay in while they were building the porch over the week it took to
finish. This saved them the long commute across town and allowed them to start
early.
I think Dad regretted it when he noticed
how well Ben and I got along.
During that week Ben and I became
inseparable. Ben was a year older than me and wore sunglasses to halt the glare
which made him look even cooler than he was. His skinny arm muscles were
beginning to stand out in the morning sun and he smiled, a lot. Compared to my
family, he was warm and friendly and not just because we’d already met at The
Beach Shack. Together, we swam in the pool and tanned until my sister went nuts
and told us to come inside or else use more suntan lotion.
Mostly, we’d just hang out together. Ben
was my first real friend. Because he also had a sister, he was used to talking
to girls.
We talked about music and novels we’d
read, or novels he said he’d read; he wasn’t really into Austen, he’d just
pretended to be “to impress me” he said.
The
dream to fly like a bird was real. It was all he’d ever wanted since he was
six. He was just working with his Dad over the summer to help out but he didn’t
want to build porches forever. Ben had big dreams; bigger than mine, I thought.
Being
born wealthy made me reflect on what I lacked – the intangibles. The love and
loyalty of my father for one thing, changed with the seasons. It seemed obvious
that Dad didn’t think I’d amount to much and though I heard him describe me to
my older sister as “pretty enough in an understated way,” I could tell my
hesitancy in pushing myself forward irritated him. I’d try out for the
cheerleading team because my Godmother encouraged me, but my older sister would
be captain, if she had her way. She mostly did.
Liz was already planning to take control of
the Socials (a select clique of girls
at Hallowed Halls, our new school). My older sister was clearly on the fast
track to success. There was no doubt with her drive and all of dad’s contacts;
she would rule her new school and go on to attend a prestigious college. My
father had set up a kind of competition amongst his daughters and already
picked the winner. I refused to play the game.
Instead, I focused on matters of the heart.
Already, I liked Ben Wentworth, even though
I doubt he thought beyond summer sun and the next plane flying overhead.
Inside, I melted every time he spoke to me
or asked me to pass him his Dad’s tools. We ate lunch together every day. I
brought my notes outside to work on never ending stories. My father and sisters
barely noticed the time I spent away from them, “scribbling.” They were only interested in their own
worlds: Dad in his latest “case” and celebrity client; Liz in her high
maintenance beauty and study routines; and Melissa in her dolls and their
dreams.
By the time the porch was finished, summer
was almost ending and school was about to start. Hallowed Halls had a junior,
middle and high school. All of the Elliot sisters arrived together.
With mom on the East Coast, one of the
most influential people of my life stepped up to take her place, my Godmother.
Eleanor Russell was stylish, rich, charming and as luck would have it, also our
next door neighbor.
Before mom went to New York, Eleanor promised
to “keep an eye on me.” She became my advisor and confidant and assured me I
was, “so much like my mother we’d get on fine.” My mother’s relocation to the
East Coast gave Eleanor an opportunity to get to know us as “almost adults.”
Eleanor also counselled my sisters, but
they were less in need of her friendship since they had each other. Eleanor
took Liz to modelling classes on Saturdays (Eleanor assured Liz good deportment
would help “bring out her personality”) and even enrolled Missy in a “high class”
beauty pageant where one of her old sorority sisters was the judge (Missy won).
Our Godmother also drove us to dance classes, assuring us that, “cheerleading
would make us ‘popular’ if we tried out for the team at Hallowed Halls.”
While Mom was mostly absent that summer,
Eleanor literally became devoted to our upbringing. She listened as my sisters
told her their concerns about Mom leaving daddy to “fend for himself.” I
remained silent.
My Godmother came to my room that night as I
sat on the edge of my bed in my pyjamas, drinking honey cinnamon milk. Eleanor
discarded all of the clothes that I’d chosen from my own wardrobe in favor of
the ones that she had chosen for me, more conservative, perhaps fashionable and
certainly less comfortable.
“Never mind, dear,” Eleanor said, “who needs
comfort at your age? There are sure to be some suitable friends for you at your
new school and you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.”
Of course she was right.
I suppose I could have looked more
fashionable on my first day at Hallowed Halls but I didn’t think anything would
change with Liz the star and Melissa the up and comer. I’d be happiest just
blending in with the scenery… or so I thought.
“You know, I only imagine the best for you;
to be safe and happy. I want you to call me up on any of these numbers if for
any reason at all, you need to talk,” Eleanor said.
I looked at her complacently then leaned in
and hugged her. I felt there was something she wanted to tell me, something
about my parents maybe, something worth sharing but we remained silent and she
patted my hair and left the room.
Later, I learnt my parents had decided to
divorce and thought it best if my sisters and I were out of the house for a
while. Perhaps they were right.
I knew it upset Eleanor to have to send me
away but I didn’t complain because a part of me wanted to go. The thought of
being sent to a new school gave me mixed feelings. To be banished from the
privileged world of my upbringing was almost a relief. I knew there was a
secret that lay in wait for me there; Ben. He was sure to arrive by my
sophomore year. It wasn’t that long to wait.
And so I found myself at twelve, a
boarding school brat. As the weeks went by, I found more and more excuses not
to return home every weekend, especially once my mother left for good. It
seemed like I’d wait forever for the boy who never showed.
Finally, when my sisters packed for a long
weekend and there was no one but me left at school, I relented and went with
them. I was greeted coldly by my father and I felt, no I was sure; I’d been
replaced in whatever was left of his affections.
Back at school, the following week, my
sisters were fully prepared to rule Hallowed Halls (when the time came). They
had a “Plan of Action” that included becoming very, very popular to pave the way for Liz to rule the Socials by the time she was a
senior.
It was kind of funny, at first. Then, they
became totally obsessive and of course, wanted to include me in their plans. As
Liz said, they could “rely on my vote and my lack of desire to usurp them.” Of
course, being two of the richest and prettiest girls, they drew a lot of
attention to themselves at Hallowed Halls.
That was until Ben and his brother Harley
arrived. By then, even I knew what it took to become popular.
