Chapter Twenty-one
The Marina
The
atmosphere was as icy as the ocean and I had no idea why I’d been snowballed
into this one… Confessions
of a Post-teenage Hermit
Ben stood at the pier looking extremely hot
up close. His brother Harley also looked pretty cool.
As luck would have it, a few of the women,
ex-Socials from the mothers’ group at
the café, were going for their morning power walk. They nearly pushed their
toddler buggies into us as my cousins waved hello and Ben and Harley smiled. I
couldn’t help but notice Ben was far more welcoming to my sisters than me, whom
he still chose to more or less ignore. Two could play that game.
I was embarrassed that the Wentworth
brothers had seen me humiliated in my low-paying job. They must have heard
those girls I’d gone to high school with talking about me like no one had
wanted me enough to marry me – as if that
was the high point of success with the divorce rate heading towards fifty
percent! I wandered what people like Missy and the ex-Socials had to be so smug about as they looked back and waved at
Harley and Ben.
If I was supposed to be “getting over Ben,”
spending the afternoon in his company was probably a bad start.
There he stood, waiting for us at the
pier; or were we just an excuse for the Wentworth brothers to hang with my
cousins?
The boat was huge, so big in fact that Liz
had even invited Tom Winchester. Apparently they wanted to view some real
estate from the coast line. It was like a Hallowed Halls reunion on the high
seas. All we needed was Serena and Dana. Serena was somewhere near Singapore by
now and Dana was on the opposite side of the marina, thankfully.
“Good to see you again, Jane,” Harley
said. Ben ignored me and smiled at my cousin Lia and then started showing Hailee
how the boat worked.
If Ben and I were ever meant to be, that was in the past. Our so-called
“love affair” was some serious
ancient history. Get over it, I told myself. Now, I thought, snap your fingers,
you are over it.
“Are you coming Jane?” Melissa shouted over
to me as I lagged behind, buying a bottle of water.
“Sure,” I said, pretending to act cool even
though my father had long since sold his boat as part of our intra-family
funding drive (it was the one possession he’d agreed to part with since he
preferred tennis to sailing these days anyway). I just pretended going sailing
in Wentworth on a beautiful boat at the pier, was the most normal thing on the
planet.
Harley gave me a very friendly smile as I
stepped onto the gangplank.
“It’s great to see you again, Jane.”
I looked at him, “… um, good to see you
too.”
“All the time we were posted overseas, Ben
dreamt of going sailing here, at home…”
Ben was chatting amiably with my sisters, portside.
Harley and I stood on the opposite side, talking to me.
“I didn’t know the cousins were coming,”
Melissa whispered.
“Well, I didn’t ask them,” Liz replied.
“I included them,” Ben said, smiling. “It
was their idea in the first place.”
“Of course,” Melissa said, hiding her true
feelings. “What a great idea.”
I raised my eyebrow, embarrassed at Liz’s
transparency. The garrulousness and natural beauty of our younger cousins had
always irritated Liz and Melissa, since it took the focus off them. I, on the
other hand, liked it. But perhaps allowing them to take centre stage hadn’t
been the wisest idea. After all, they hardly needed “extra light shined on them
to get noticed,” as my Godmother, Eleanor, once said. I think Eleanor thought
they made me seem plain and dull by comparison, but I didn’t care. I loved my
cousins, they were warm and funny. They included me and made me laugh.
The girls made a huge production of going
swimming once we reached the small island about half an hour from the marina.
Hailee stepped gingerly over the edge and
Ben held out his hand politely.
“Catch me! Lia said to Ben as he turned
around and my cousin jumped from the edge of the boat to the sand in double
quick time.
I remembered Lia doing that when she was
about eight when she took ballet and gymnastics classes.
I looked over at Lia; my outgoing younger
cousin was swift and fast and she landed on her feet with ease. Harley moved
forward but Ben got there first. Lia’s hand grabbed his and she seemed to
linger closely to his chest. He laughed it off as she giggled.
I sighed as I rolled up my jeans and
scrunched my hair in a loose bun. I’d applied some gloss and made an effort to
look beachier than I felt.
As I walked along the gangplank, Ben just
glanced up at me disinterestedly, as if to silently say, you’re next, then he turned his back on me to continue talking with
Lia. I stepped onto the boat myself; being careful not to slip in the water
puddle that Lia had created.
Harley waited expectantly on the other
side. Obviously, there was no getting out of this without appearing rude and
offending him.
We
all jumped into the sheltered lagoon. I wore a swimsuit of Melissa’s previously
unworn and discarded but although it covered my curves it also accentuated
them. Let’s just say, it was the first time Ben truly looked at me all day.
Whatever. The water was warm and restorative. My cousins were making good use
of the rope swing hanging from a branch.
They were still diving in when I got out
to dry off. Lying in the sun behind a tree on my striped beach towel, I overheard
Hailee, who had been pushed aside by Melissa and was standing closest to me, say,
“Honestly, sometimes I wish Jane had married poor Fred…”
Ben looked at her in disbelief.
“Jane?” He said my name as if he couldn’t
believe anyone else would have ever wanted to marry me.
‘Shh,” Hailee whispered.
“Oh yes,” Lia said, “he asked Jane first but
she was busy with college and not really into him. Besides, her Godmother
talked her out of it.”
I could hear their conversation through the
splashes, even as I stood to drag on my shoes.
“Her Godmother?” Ben asked.
“Yes, Jane takes all of her advice.”
I imagined Ben inwardly cringing before Sam,
Ben’s nephew ran over to me and Sarah flopped on the edge of my towel in the
sun.
“You know,” she said, “this is the most
beautiful place on earth; I don’t know how my brothers can stand to leave it.”
“I agree,” I said as we scooped up Sam and
our belongings and trundled back to the sailing boat.
Shore could not come quickly enough, though
everyone on board was busy oohing and ahhing
over the scenery along the coast.
Meanwhile, Ben unravelled some rope. I’m
sure it hadn’t occurred to him that I’d paid any attention to his conversation with
my cousin. He kept his back turned on me rudely as I stepped off the bow of the
boat directly into a pool of sea water; I slid onto the floor of the jetty. As
I tried to get up, I hit my knee hard, and gashed it so deeply; it looked like
I might need stitches.
“Are you okay?” Lia said, rushing over. She
brought the first-aid kit and wrapped up my leg with a bandage.
For a second, I’d blacked out.
“I’m fine,” I said.
I looked up to see Ben’s handsome face
looming over me. His palm cradled my head, momentarily. His expression changed
from one of concern to a complete lack of interest in seconds as he placed my
head back on the ground once I appeared conscious and unhurt, at least on the
surface.
“Yes,” I said, dazed.
Then, before I knew it, Ben scooped me up
in his arms and carried me towards the table and chairs outside the café that
formed part of the marina. He told everyone he’d wait with me. I rubbed my head
but felt fine.
I couldn’t believe Ben wanted to be alone
with me. Then, as I listened to the conversation that followed, I realized, he
didn’t. This was just an excuse to get rid of me. Ben and I sat on a bench like strangers in
silence.
“I’m really fine. It’s a slight graze on my
knee, it’s nothing.”
“You should probably get your head checked
and not jolt around on a boat. I’ll come with you, if you want,” he offered
reluctantly.
“It’s okay. My Godmother just texted, she’s
coming to meet me,” I interrupted. Bad news travels fast. Hailee must have tipped
her off.
“Uh, okay,” he said, and then we said nothing
for a few minutes. During that time, Ben turned and looked into my eyes as if
he wanted to say something then he thought better of it and got up to buy us
both some water from the store. The next ten minutes passed in stony silence as
we sipped. Then I decided to speak up.
“The truth is, Ben, I didn’t plan on coming
sailing with you and Harley. I kind of got talked into it.”
“I can imagine that.”
I ignored his insinuation that I couldn’t
make up my own mind.
“What happened between us remains…”
“I know…” Ben looked at me coldly,
“unforgiven.”
“That
wasn’t what I…”
He looked up, wishing to change the
subject, “Here’s your Godmother.” Ben went to open the car door as Eleanor
pulled over. I turned around.
“Make sure you get your head checked out
properly… what’s your street again?”
“I’m staying in Bel Air for a while… with
my father. It’s not necessary for you to open the door…”
He interrupted me, frowning, “But you
dislike living in that part of Los Angeles. I remember that from years ago.”
“I’ve changed,” I lied, I longed for the
bliss of the water views here in Wentworth. “I think it suits me better than it
did… before,” I turned around and got into the cab, blood rising in my cheeks,
determined that this would be the last time I’d speak to Ben alone.
He was so over me; it was obvious he’d just
returned to pay me back for calling off our stupid teenage engagement years
ago, and I didn’t blame him. Even though he’d recently acted like a tool, a man
like him – good, handsome, tall, rich, kind, brave and humble hearted, could
have anyone he wanted, deserved anyone
he wanted.
I’d treated him badly and I probably
deserved to be treated dismissively now. Let’s face it; my family had been
ignorant snobs and I’d just been plain wrong. There were no words to describe
my bitter regret at our having parted so long ago, but I didn’t need any
further humiliation.
There was no point in prolonging his
torment. He acted like spending ten minutes by my side was worse than drinking
poison. Nevertheless, Ben closed the door for me. As he did this, his fingers
lingered on my own for a moment. I pulled my hand away as the door slammed
behind me.
My
Godmother greeted me warmly in the car after peering at Ben. He lingered beyond
the window as the blood in my cheeks started to rise and the car moved forward.
