POPULAR (chapter seven: eco-systems)

Chapter Seven

Eco-systems

     We were extremely happy with Hilary’s makeover. Even Hilary was happy with it and she was skeptical at first.

     I wrote, “a huge transformation…” in my journal and described the wispy highlights Ty added and the new clothes (my cast offs but they were totally designer) we found our new friend.

     That evening, I realized we’d forgotten to prepare our first group project of the year. It was supposed to be a group presentation titled: Why We Need to Save the Environment Now. Our geography teacher, Ms Marks, was all on about global warming, so that’s what we wrote about. We messaged each other ideas on sub-topics from our different locations. By ten pm we had it underway. It had been a long and fruitful day.

     While Tyler, Veronica and Hilary were putting together a mosaic of images of the way planet earth has changed this millennia (like, whole parts of Antarctica have eroded!), I imagined what Ms Marks could do to fix her dull image. Her hair was a mess and her cardigan actually had lunch stains near the buttons. She never smiled. I could have told her sometimes you need to fix the outside to fix the inside.

    Earlier that day, during our class discussion, peeps started to challenge her theories on global warming and Ms Marks suggested they do their research more thoroughly. I thought about school being part of the eco-system and part of the world. Every time we used plastic in the lunch room and threw it away helped to create the potential for more damage. Tiny things created a ripple down effect.

    I put my hand up, “Ms Marks, do you really think we should discuss politics in school?”

    “Well, Honey, as long as we have a balanced discussion…it’s important to try to understand the world we live in.”

    “I agree, it might help if we stopped using plastic – as much as possible – at Sunrise.”

    “That’s true…”

     When I kept asking questions and making suggestions, in the nicest possible way, she was all exasperated. Honestly, I don’t know what she expected. For the first time I was actually interested in her lesson. My teacher seemed to find my enthusiasm irritating.

    “Honey Woodhouse, how would you like to take the class?”

    I was dumbstruck - of course I didn’t want to do that. I mean, I told Ms Marks that  teaching was not my job.

   “Exactly”, Ms Marks agreed. I’m not sure my geography teacher and I got off to the best start. I think she was making fun of my ignorance about the topic and that’s not her job, either.

    And then she was all, “okay everyone, so sit down in your seat, put your thinking cap on, do some research and tomorrow tell us about global warming and why it’s an important topic. Oh, and I’d like your informed opinion, Honey.”

   “Sure, whatever,” I replied reluctantly under my breath.  

   I was so glad Hilary smiled at me, then. She must have known how I felt being made to look small and not very smart in the eyes of my peers.

   That night, I googled ‘global warming’ and read all about it. It’s way wrong and slowly destroying planet earth. I hate the fact that when we throw plastic bags and other things away they end up in the eco-system and sometimes marine life (like, hundred year old turtles) eat them and the plastic blows up in their poor stomachs leaving them in excruciating agony and our human carelessness actually kills these amazing creatures. This was my epiphany.

    I continued working on our project until it was midnight, researching and writing up every aspect of our argument. Always have an opinion, that’s what my daddy taught me. I wasn’t all just make-up and hair style advice.

      In geography class, the next day, our group walked out front, stood tall and proud and with a loud voice I began:

     “Global warming is here, it’s happening and it’s one of the most important topics our generation and future generations are going to face. How we treat our planet and precious species today is going to shape our world tomorrow…” some peeps (particularly Flynn Elton), clapped.

    “First of all, a little bit of history… You need to know how much plane earth is deteriorating…” I showed them before and after photos of Antarctica.

     I wasn’t all doom and gloom of course. Hilary, Ty and Jessica finished our talk with a host of things people could do to become environmentally conscious, if they weren’t doing them already. Like, always take your own containers to school and use cloth bags instead of plastic. 

     A few boys groaned when I finished speaking, but most of the class sat still and listened and by the end, our group got clapped by the entire class. I was way proud to have turned my ignorance into knowledge.

    We sat down after our group talk. It’s always good to do your research but then leave your audience wanting more. I could see my geography teacher’s expression change. It’s also good to surpass people’s biased opinions of you. I was proud my group aced the research for this topic. I would totally call myself environmentally friendly now.

     After school, I told Ethan about my class and he just groaned, “I explained all of this stuff to you years ago, but you never listened.”

    “Well, this time, I did my own research.”

    Little did he know, I had a list of many more excellent facts about our school environment  to report on. I finished off Ms Marks’ profile that night but put it on hold. Some people need to want to be helped and I had a feeling Ms Marks knew her own mind and made her own choices. She could wait and maybe by the time she was ready to change she wouldn’t need my help. Then, there was a whole list of other people; so many forms to fill out, questions to be answered.

    I fell asleep with pages of my paper spread across my pillows.

POPULAR by SUMMER DAY (chapter eight: global warming)

Chapter Eight

Global Warming

    School is like a microcosm of our eco-system. Like fish, peeps need to be tended. Every face in the hallway the next morning was a potential match and it occurred to me, that if everyone in the world had the right match, there wouldn’t be any wrong ones. Well, not as many. So really, I was doing work for the environment.

     During library class, I continued working on my list of potential male matches, starting, of course, with Ethan (he just didn’t know it). Then, of course, there was Rafe Martin, Mr Henry and Flynn.

    Mr Henry seemed to be making an effort at first with Ms Dash but all of that seemed to stop this semester. I haven’t seen them together in days.

    I typed into my laptop next to their matching photos; success pending.     

    I moved on to Flynn whose popularity yet obvious loneliness had captured my imagination from the beginning. From our days spent at Sunrise pool I wrote:

    Flynn Elton is maximus cutest and wildly popular but beset by scandal.  

    Rumor has it he is the illegitimate son of the headmaster Mr Elton.

    It was a good thing I wasn’t writing on the web. I’d never put my private files out there – I’m like a legal firm.

     Of course, Mr Elton denies any association but I’ve heard from one of my mom’s friends on the social committee that that’s just not true. In fact, Flynn’s mother is my father’s legal advisor and since Flynn transferred from some private school in Upstate New York, the whispers have just grown louder. 

    School had only been ‘back in session’ (as I like to say) for a month when I sat in my bedroom one Saturday afternoon as the sun set across the hills from Beverly Hills. I’d promised to meet Ethan (who was all about training for the swim team – the Knightly men are good swimmers) in the pool at my place. My dad was home early and wanted to have a barbeque. Ethan had, of course, invited his new girlfriend Gigi (they’re officially dating) as well as Ariel. I’d invited my group plus Flynn, Ty and Hills.

   It was twilight, and I’d worn my favorite post-summer outfit; jeans and strappy platform sandals. I put my swimsuit on underneath – my favorite one that is 1980s retro.    

    I grabbed my laptop (to make minor adjustments if needed) and went downstairs to join my guests. Veronica, Tyler and Hilary had already arrived. Hilary looked amazing since we made her over and I told her so after Tyler and I air kissed.  

   “Honey are you having ketchup with your food?” Daddy asked.

   “Of course, I’m eating healthy this week,” I replied.

   Ethan laughed then behaved like his usual childish self, pretending to be a whale in the pool as Hilary and Tyler dived in with him.  They floated around and splashed me as I sat on the side finishing my blog post. I kept busy whilst others socialized. I had some serious work to do in the form of writing up my recent post on my matchmaker blog. All peeps remained anonymous. No rest for the wicked as they say. I wore my prop glasses – the ones with the fake glass that make me appear far more academic than I really am.

    Honestly? It’s for Ethan’s own good. He needs someone who is truly a thinker, not just a pretender like Gigi. I think he’ll realize what an airhead his new girlfriend is soon, even if she does purport to take physics.

   As I dressed the salad, Wednesday arrived. She looked gorgeous as usual and everyone already knew her from school so they didn’t treat her like a television star, which she loves. Wednesday isn’t filming this afternoon. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I said, giving her a huge hug.

   “Me too,” she said. Wednesday is way smart, her show even has its own fan club. Wednesday was almost waylaid by earlier family tragedy but remains resoundingly optimistic about most things. Wednesday is also a sophomore now and totally fashionable. I’m not saying she’s amazingly popular, though, she just has her group of loyal friends. I’ve noticed some people don’t really like talented, pretty girls but to those girls, I say – do not hide your light. If you do, you’ll regret it.

   Honestly? I’m rich and decorative but I’m not talented in any obvious area, like Wednesday. It’s what stops people openly hating me. Plus, I don’t get amazing grades (also, like Wednesday) so they don’t think I’m that clever (even though I’m clearly smart in matters of the heart!) Anyway, you can’t be responsible for the way others think. Girls need to get over their petty jealousies. A lotta boys are out there joining the boys club and helping each other while the only thing some girls seem to be able to do is bring down other girls. It’s not cool.

    Wednesday joined the game in the pool.

    As people splashed, I moved my laptop and noted I’d successfully made a match for my shopkeeper Mr Styles when I introduced him to his now fiancée, only two months ago! Now, peeps say you should spend more than a few weeks with someone before making that kind of commitment but I think when it’s right, it’s right. I snapped my web page shut and swan died into the pool. It’s impolite not to act social once all the guests have arrived and Daddy was just about to remind me.    

     If you were to look into my world that day, you’d witness a perfect teen-friendly family pool party. You’d never predict the ructions about to affect my eco-system the following week.  You’d never guess that by the end of the month I’d be on my way to becoming a social zero.

.

POPULAR by SUMMER DAY (chapter nine: artisans)

Chapter Nine

Artisans

    It all started in art class.

    Here’s what happened: 

    First of all, when Flynn entered the room I whispered to Hilary, “total cuteness.” Hilly agreed. Veronica and Tyler all nudged me and I was way happy that the only seat empty was the one beside Hilly.

   Ms Dash is always busy, in a hurry to make sure everyone is present or absent, not misbehaving, has an idea about what colleges or more importantly, what Art Colleges they’d be interested in attending). She really is the best-natured teacher at Sunrise, by far. (It’s not her fault that her boyfriend dumped her for the local realtor. That was horrible of him. Grown men can be so evil when they are only driven by selfish desires).

    Anyway, I’m choosing my paint brush and wondering if I should recommend highlights to Ms Dash, when I realize it’s time to update Flynn’s file. So far he’s just been included in my daily wrap up.

    Newsflash.

    I have Ethan to thank for my official matchmaking system.

    Of course, when he was web designing, he didn’t really think he was designing a matchmaking system, even though he’s very clever. He sorted out this technology and a web page for me to input all my information into (thinking I was just playing ‘a game’) but I changed some of the titles and used the system to generate what I term, ‘perfect matches’. You just put the  information of a person into the system along with the corresponding person’s information and whoala!

     I really think we could patent it but I’m not ready to go public. Sometimes my system generates other names that match and sometimes I just get a set of characteristics of a person’s perfect partner. Then I match up my two new B&Bs or D&Ds (that stands for Bachelor & Bachelorette or Desperate & Dateless).

   For example, Hilary (who is currently a D&D but is probably moving up to Bachelorette status) would probably not be an immediate match with… oh, let’s just call out Ethan as a random example.

    B&Bs are peeps who are often prepared to wait. D&Ds tend to be more than a little desperate. For example a B&B would definitely be new boy, Flynn Elton. A D&D would be peeps in need of… dating advice and clues – Ms Dash, for example.

   Right now, I’m drafting Flynn’s information into my laptop under my desk although Ms Dash thinks I’m working on our commercial art project. Ms Dash is so not into computers but I explained to her last year that she needed to incorporate new technology into art classes. I encouraged her to develop her foundation program. I’m so glad she took my advice because from the freshman art projects on display, everyone is benefitting.

   Of course, I’m a bit dismayed that my advice to teachers is often misinterpreted. I’m also dismayed students mess up in art class – they don’t take it seriously, especially the guys. Every hottie in school takes this class because they have access to a computer and most of them are addicted to research of a, let’s just say, more adult nature.

    I totally think some kids need to be saved from themselves.

    Take Flynn, for instance. He definitely takes risks where school rules are concerned. There is even talk he has a sideline business having his homework delivered to him, but I refuse to believe it. It’s so obvious Flynn is way too intellectual to need a homework service. Maybe he’s just busy; too busy to finish his homework. Either way, he has no idea how semi-perfect he and Hilly would be together. Even their star signs mesh well.  

    Once we chose our afternoon projects and Flynn chose to sit between me and Hilary, I realized he wanted to be closer to her. Sometimes the only difference between the dated and the dateless is mere proximity.

    “Yum,” I mouthed to Hilary as Flynn sat down. It would be totally uncool to let new boy see how many fans he has already though.

    Flynn is very sure of himself. This is obvious from the way he slouches and smiles, first at me, next at Hilary.

    I go into my laptop and tick that box: Image redesign.

    Ms Dash suddenly stops blabbing on and looks at me.

   “Honey Woodhouse, please explain the morning’s project.”

    Unshaken, I quickly flicked to my schedule which gave me the exact plans for the day.

    A few peeps yawned as I started, but that’s okay, I’m undeterred:   
    “This morning, Ms Dash, we are working on the portrait section of our syllabus: the medium to be used is either computer animation, old fashioned painting, or sketching or photography – your choice. But remember, your initial choice is important as it informs all aspects of the final product.”

   I heard that very annoying red haired boy. Rafe Martin, say under his breath, “Is that this week’s dating advice, Honey?” His little partner-in-crime friend, Trip, who’s a total wastrel, laughed. They hang out together in totally unco-ordinated clothes and geek on about computer science. Really? I know ‘the geeks shall inherit the earth’ but couldn’t they just be a little less resistant to those with better fashion sense before they do?

    I continued when I was rudely interrupted again, “As I was saying, the class may work in pairs or larger groups depending on numbers.”

   “Thank you, Honey. I’m glad you were paying attention,” Ms Dash said.

    Whatevvs. I sat down. That’s so like Ms Dash to cut me off before I’m finished but I wouldn’t want to keep on dishing out unwanted advice. That would just make me, dare I say it, dare I even type it – unpopular.

POPULAR by SUMMER DAY (chapter ten: pop girls and princesses)

Chapter Ten

Pop Girls & Princesses     

    Tyler and Jessica had already started their portraits. Hilary, Flynn and I were yet to begin. Our friends were doing some photo collage project with alienation themes, and needed the morning light to catch their first images of each other. They’d gone to the library to fix their sepia portraits in quiet contemplation. I later found out Jessica kissed Ty then – so it’s starting to happen. Everyone’s in love. I’m so excited. Ty and Jess are about to become our first couple. I hope it doesn’t change the group dynamic. My records have shown for months that their combined skills and star signs make them a nearly perfect match.  

    Just as I was thinking about this, Flynn was smiling his devastating smile straight at Hilary. I could tell he was taken with Hilary’s new look. I’d convinced her to curl her hair with tongs and wear the shoes I’d suggested.   

     Flynn pulled off his sunglasses (after Ms Dash asked him to) and smiled winningly.

  Meanwhile, I’d just finished aggregating Hilary and Flynn’s matchmaker resume:

Hilary (New girl) Jones

  Age: fifteen

  Height: petite

  Weight: average

  Hair color: brown

  Looks: recently made over (cute image overall)

  From: mid-west

  Likes: art class, smiling, a few awesome bands that I am familiar with

  Hobbies: music, art, hanging with The Princesses

  Flynn (New boy) Elton

   Age: turning sixteen

  Height: way tall

  Weight: lean and muscular

  Hair color: brown

  Looks: like a Levis model

  From: Upstate New York – ejected from some boarding school – badge of honor?

  Likes: art class, smiling,  a few awesome bands that I am familiar with, clearly Hilary

  Hobbies: (so far), looking cool, being hot

  On a scale A Plus being the highest: I’d give him an A as there is always room for improvement.

  Perfect Match: once I have more scientific data, let you know. At the moment, it’s definitely Hilary – I mean, they look so sweet with their heads together peering at examples of awesome 1930’s photography.

   Prospects of a successful match: High

   Look at them, I mean, just look at them. They are like Darcy and Elizabeth or Bella and Edward or Chuck and Blair or…the girl with the red hair and the boy from Gossip Girl in Easy A. This is what I love about Ms Dash’s art class. The creative environment allows us to do more than just work towards finals. Ms Dash totally trusts us to work independently. For example, there are peeps working in corners, halls, cupboards, darkrooms, and even outside.

   Our group has opted for outside at Flynn’s suggestion. We’ve decided on a retro, Edwardian theme. Flynn says calling the portrait ‘Then and Now’ would be, “sort of cool.” I think it’s an inspired title, don’t you?

   “Guys, I need to make a phone call while you set up,” was all he said. Then, he was absent for at least ten minutes. It was apparent Flynn was part of an even cooler, extended school posse – something Ethan would never understand.  I mean, who is he kidding? Popularity is important. Ethan is proof of that, and so much more.

   As Flynn walked off, I wondered if the rumors were true. Did Flynn pay for his homework?

 Was that all he paid for? No way. Drugs are not cool, ever. Then I remembered, he’d told me 

he wanted to help out at the animal shelter but he never showed up. That wasn’t cool either, but 

it didn’t mean he was a wastrel. It just meant he was busy, something came up. After all, 

nobody’s perfect. 

POPULAR (chapter eleven: the portrait)

Chapter Eleven

The portrait

   After school that afternoon, Ethan spoke to me.

  “You are so naïve, Honey. If you haven’t worked it out, he was arranging to meet up with his old friends to get wasted. Maybe you need an intervention.”

   “He was not,” I said. “Flynn is very… conscientious. He’s been extremely helpful with our art project. We’re just about to Skype.”

   “He’s a loser.”

   “Flynn is not a loser.”

   “Then he’s a wastrel and you shouldn’t hang out with him so much.”

   “He is not a wastrel. That just wouldn’t be cool. And Flynn is… cool. You’re just jealous.”

    Ethan shrugged, “Whatever, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I think it’s interesting that you are so mean about other girls yet so willing to give Flynn the benefit of the doubt.”

    Was Ethan right? At least I wasn’t mean to other girls.

    Next art class, Hilary was sitting beside me on the hill, looking profoundly bored. Art just isn’t her thing. Flynn had strolled back, busily texting from behind the tree, as we were trying to work out how to work the school’s new camera.

   “Hey pretties, give it to me, I’m an expert in all things mechanical.”

   A man who knows how to use his hands to fix things is a real find, even if it’s sexist to assume we couldn’t work it out ourselves. Fixing stuff is hot. I mean, as girls we should certainly know how to use something as basic as a camera but with ‘new’ technology, sometimes it’s okay to let guys think they have the upper hand.

   I had to practically step on Hilly’s toe when she was about to say, “Oh it’s fine, we’ve got it sorted.”

   Hilary looked at me quizzically before she nodded slowly, mouthed the word “Oh,” and guided by me, smiled back whispering, “gotcha.”

   Ethan looked over at me.

   “So, which one of you two babes is going to be my first model?”

   I stepped right back.

   “Oh,” I said, “I rarely model – unless it’s for magazines or my own dating blog – but Hilary would be great.”

   I nudged my friend forward. She could thank me later.

   “Cool, okay so, I’ll play photographer then…”

   During this process, Flynn even went over and adjusted Hilary’s hair, the light, the angle she was sitting, everything. He snapped away like a professional while I giggled on the sidelines. In between snaps he said things like, “great, looking hot” and “Wow, Miranda… whoa Giselle! Yeah baby!”

    It was kind of funny. If I didn’t know any better, and from the looks of Flynn’s bloodshot eyes I’d say he’d been smoking something, but I didn’t really know any better so I’m not going to call Flynn out on something he may not have done.

    When the photos were taken, we had to choose one that was representative of ‘the group’.

    I’d found some old Edwardian costumes form the school’s production of The Importance of Being Ernest and draped them and the props around Hilary with a large hat. It looked like a mix of the very modern and the very new and since our photo typified ‘vintage teen drama’ I was pretty pleased with the result. We had to tell a story via six portraits. Flynn and I chose six of the best with Hilly as a model.  

   Hilary was taking the costumes back to class and Flynn and I were trying to pick the photos we’d use in the final presentation. Flynn was really looking at the digital images closely. I could tell he was thinking about Hilary’s beauty – which some maintain I have exaggerated, but really, I don’t think so.

   “I like that one,” Flynn said, “she looks good in that.”

   I agreed. Flynn could barely contain his enthusiasm.

   “Oh, but you see – there’s our shadow in the background on the wall. You can even make us out behind the camera.”

   “Hey babe, that’s why I like it.”

    I’m not sure why he started to call me ‘babe’ that day, it was kind of against everything we’d learned in English class.  

    “Well, this one has a clearer image of Hilary’s pretty face…”

   “Oh, right,” Flynn agreed, “sure, whatever.”

    “Great,” I smiled, “so we should go with these?”

    Flynn smiled and nodded.

    He moved closer to me to get the full effect of the image without the harsh glare of the sun. He seemed transfixed by the photo.

    “Yep,” he said, “gotta agree with you. I like this one. Put it first. You have great taste Honey.”

     I knew it. He couldn’t take his eyes off the picture. Flynn liked Hilary, it was so obvious. And what happened next just proved it.

    “By the way, my uncle owns the mall – I’m going to make a copy of this photograph and get it professionally framed at the camera store there.”

    “Great, that’ll be fantastic.”

    “Sure, it should be ready by Friday – welcome to an easy A.”

    “Well, um, Hilary and I are going shopping for prom dresses so, we could come with you – make an afternoon of it?”

    Sometimes, you have to physically play matchmaker for a match to work.

    “Sure, we could ditch school if you like, it’s only study hall.”

    Now, I wouldn’t normally agree to this but sometimes socializing is more important than school.  

    “Wicked,” I said, pulling back from Flynn’s enthusiasm. It was so obvious now, the picture of Hilary meant more to him than any normal photograph – Hilary was the woman he’d set his sights on, the girl (forgive me for the Cinderella euphemism) he’d take to the ball. 

POPULAR by SUMMER DAY (chapter twelve: dance preparations)

Chapter Twelve

Dance Preparations

    Meanwhile, Ethan was hanging with his team and his two female ‘friends.’

    It was only a week before Dance Fangdango and still Flynn had not revealed his true intentions. I was starting to get a little concerned.

    At midday, I noticed Ethan and Gigi still holding hands in the lunch queue.

   “Is this one a keeper?” I whispered as I chose my sandwich. Like I cared.

   I took my seat with my group of Pop Girls, when they all stopped talking as Ethan walked by.  

   “Remind me again why I like him?” Macey whispered. She tried to become leader of The Princesses last year but got outvoted. Macey is Mrs Teegan’s daughter.

   “He’s hot,” India added. She’s Mrs Tory’s eldest twin.

   “Way hot,” Wednesday agreed, but of course I’ve met him loads of times before at Honey’s house where Honey treats him like the furniture. I warned you, Honey.”

    Wednesday is dating a hot actor on set. She’s way advanced in the rules of dating.

    I had to set them straight.

    “Do you think it’s pretentious to have been named after a character from The Tempest? That’s very Shakespearean.”

   “I think it’s sweet,” Macey whispered. Wednesday looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

   Juju answered. Juju, short for Julie (daughter of Mrs Brooke), recently transferred from a school in New Mexico. We accepted her instantly, it was like, instant bonding.

   When Julie was a toddler she could only say Ju, and the name stuck. Boo (daughter of Mrs Freya) is the sweetest, blondest girl who never says Boo to a goose and only says nice things. So that’s us, Princesses of the year – this year – Macey, India, Wednesday, Me, Boo, Veronica and Hilary as a probational member, added to the mix. Oh, and Tyler, who doesn’t realize he’s an honorary member.

    All of us try to be open and have opinions, but sometimes we just keep it amongst ourselves. Julie says opinions might hurt people, but I say, no way, say what you think. I have tried only to use my opinions to help people. After all, someone’s got to.  While the rest of the group ate, I got to work immediately on my tablet.

    “Hey little Miss Matchmaker.”

     The voice of reason had re-entered my world. The Princesses smiled welcomingly at Ethan.

     “Mmm,” I said as I typed away, “some of us are too busy to wait around and have a conversation when one of us is finally ready.”

    “Ooh, you sound jealous.” Ethan whispered.

    “What of? Ariel? I don’t think so.”

    “Never mind Honeyboo, I thought we could get together and hang out this weekend.” That’s what Ethan calls me when he’s making fun of me and all my ‘schoolgirl’ games. I’m nowhere near as famous as the real Honey Boo Boo, of course.

    “That would be great except I’m busy.”

     His bland model-type girlfriend Gigi, laughed nervously. I’m thinking, it’s so great being a model but couldn’t you develop a personality? She’s hardly ever said a word to me even though she’s been to my house! Gigi just laughs at whatever Ethan says; so nauseating. 

    I grabbed Ethan by his muscular arm and pulled him toward the sandwich bar.

   “Hey, I was in the middle of a discussion with Hills.”

   “You mean Hilary? She wasn’t…”

    “An online discussion.”

   “Oh, right. I forget sometimes. I’m just so taken with Gigi’s loveliness I can’t think straight.

    I nearly puked.

    “I’ve noticed. You’re quickly becoming the school Romeo,” I added sarcastically.

     He laughed.

    “I was kidding…”

    “I hope so.”

    “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you my ‘stupid matchmaking formula’ is working.”

    “Oh yeah? Says who?”

    “Me. Hilary and Flynn are besotted with each other.”

   We looked around the lunch room. All the students were in groups, musos, cheerleaders, socials, princesses, computer nerds, sporty types, gleeks, arty types, math geeks, weird scientists, Dali-esque artists and performing artist theatre wack jobs who mostly wore black and tights or tutus and acted like every day was an opportunity to audition for Fame. So sad. But I’m sure I could find a match even for them - if they asked me; but for some reason they’ve never invited me to their parties, never spoken to me and if I didn’t know any better I’d say they maybe don’t even like me. I must be imagining it.   

    We glanced beyond the lunch table. In the middle, next to Hilary, Flynn was holding court. He was acting way social.  

  “If you think Flynn is happening, you might wanna think again. Flynn is all about Flynn,” Ethan whispered.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I went to school with his brother. His brother liked to enjoy himself. He was expelled for being ‘an entrepreneur’ – he employed smart kids to write essays for his friends, amongst other things. Seems like Flynn is a real ladies’ man.”

  “You’re just jealous.”

  “Doubt it. His older brother got two girls pregnant at the same time. I don’t think that’s anything to be jealous of.”

   I pretended I wasn’t shocked.

  “Well, it’s wrong to judge the younger brother by the older one’s behavior.”

  “Maybe, but from what I’ve heard, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Still, he’s your ‘project.’ Good luck with that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “If you are trying to encourage him to take you to Dance Fangdango, you should form an orderly queue.”

   “What do you mean?”

  “Oh, he never dates exclusively.” 

   “Well, for your information, he’s already expressed an interest in dating my new friend... exclusively.”

   “Hilary?”

    We glanced at them both at least twenty feet away.

   “Yes. Why would that be so incredible?”

   “Well, Hilary doesn’t seem like his type.”

   “What? Attractive and sane?”

   “No, rich and easy.”

  “Ethan Knightly, I am ashamed to call you my friend and neighbor.”

  “What do you mean? I’m just doing what you do every single day.”

  “What?”

  “Making a judgment call; telling things as I see them; unintentionally hurting the feelings of others. I guess you’ll work it out when you grow up.” He grabbed two oranges from the dish. “Meanwhile, my friends are waiting.”

   “Run away,” I said, just to annoy him. I’d show him. I was right and he was wrong. The next match would be the best I’d ever made.

POPULAR (chapter thirteen: the offer)

Chapter Thirteen

The Offer

That afternoon, as I updated my Matchmaker files, Hilary called.

   “Hi Honey,” Hilary said.

   “Hi Hills, what’s up?

   “I need to talk to you, now. I’m so excited.”

   “Okay, tell me everything…”

   “Not on the phone...”

   “Oh, of course, come over for a swim. Daddy’s at work and the only person who might disturb us is my mutant neighbor but Ethan’s been distracted lately…”

   “Okay, see you soon.”

   Hilary arrived on her bike. She only lives a few streets away. I didn’t overly approve of her riding because the sooner a girl gets her own motor, the better to promote her as a socially independent entity, but since we don’t even drive yet, that can wait until next year. At least biking is good for toning your upper thighs. I made a note of Hilary’s predicament on her file: Under the heading Roadworthy, I wrote ‘encourage Hills to learn to drive.’  

   One of the things I love so much about making friends and taking on new matchmaking projects is that I learn so much. Of course, initially my subjects are supposed to learn from me but it’s so much better when I also learn from them.

   Hilary was excited when I answered the door, practically jumping out of her skin.

   “Guess what?”

   “What?”

   “I got invited to pre-prom… I mean, the vampire ball… Dance Fangdango.”

   “Really?”

    My plan had worked fast.

   “Yes.”

    Almost too fast.

   “Oh wow,” I said to Hilary, tentatively. I didn’t realize Flynn was so… ready. “Tell me everything. How did he do it?”

   “Well, we’d been smiling a lot at each other in the halls…”

   “I’ve noticed.”

   “And then at lunch, in the cafeteria…”

   “Yup, noticed that too…”

   “And then, we got talking when we both had to do that joint project…”

   Instigated by me, I thought proudly.

   “And well, he suggested we meet up at the library to study…”

   Hang on, libraries weren’t Flynn’s style…

   “And well, he told me he’d had feelings for me since last year.”

   “Feelings? That’s awesome!” Then it occurred to me, “Flynn only just arrived in school at the start of the semester…”

   “Oh, it’s not Flynn, Honey. It’s Rafe. Rafe Martin. We met at a television and comic convention before I came here…”

  The maths nerd? I was aghast but tried to control my shock.

   “Yes. That’s why I need your advice. You’re so smart Honey. Here. Read the note he left in my locker.” I picked up the crumpled note with my finger and thumb.

   “It’s so genuine and sweet, don’t you think?”

   “Mmm… it’s been written on a napkin,” I said disapprovingly, feigning surprise.

   I held the one edge that wasn’t stained with soda and read the first few lines.      “Rafe’s sentence structure is surprisingly error-free,” I announced.

   “Yes. Intelligence is one of Rafe’s strong points.”

   “Really?” I said.

   I unfolded the note, noticeably stuck together with the remains of Rafe’s lunch. That guy was so socially absent.

   Reluctantly, I read the entire document.

   Dear Hilary

    I’ve liked you since we got to know each other over our math project. You worked so hard even though you told me math wasn’t your ‘special interest’. You are the most fun I’ve ever had in math class – apart from that time when I discovered the value of Pi, years ago. I’m the sort of guy who would never go to a dance normally but I’d like to go this year. I’d like to go with you – if you’ll have me.

   Signed

   Rafe Martin

“It’s quite…”

“Good?” Hilary ventured.

“Actually, I was going to say… uninspired.”

“Do you think I need to reply?”

“Oh, yes, it would be impolite not to.”

“What do you think I should say?”

“Oh, I would never interfere in your social life, Hilary.”

 “But, we’re just getting to know each other…”

 “Well, do you like him?”

  “I think so.”

  “But, do you think… you could ever love a man who sleeps with his calculator?”

   “How did you know that?”

   “Rumor.”

   “Well, I mean, it’s just a dance.”

   “Only that, well, I’m almost certain there is another boy, a far more socially acceptable boy who really wants to ask you… he just hasn’t gotten around to it… yet.”

   “Who?”

   “Flynn Elton, of course.”

   “Really? Flynn likes me? How do you know?”

   “It’s so obvious. He was hovering over your photograph, trying to get the image perfect. When I stepped in because he had to take another phone call, I took the final picture. Your image was in the view finder and when he saw it he just went cray cray. He even said he wanted to have it framed professionally!”

  “Oh,” Hilary said, surprised. It was obvious my new friend had been previously oblivious to her own charms so I set her straight.

  “I’m only telling you this Hilary because I wouldn’t want you to accept an offer from some random ‘friend’ when you could potentially go to Dance Fangdango with the future love of your life. I mean, think, it could just be like that final scene of a great teen movie – like Twilight or Some Kind of Wonderful or Pretty In Pink - something without the vampires.”

  “Oh,” Hilary replied again, looking more than a little confused.

   Hilary thought for another moment. Her slight short sightedness (I had convinced her to use contacts) making her eyes rub at this very moment. And if I wasn’t mistaken, her eyes were watering a little.

  “So… you don’t think?… “

  “…You should accept Rafe Martin?”

  “Yes!”

  I sighed, exasperated.

  “Well, what do you think Hilary?”

  “I don’t know.” Hilary searched my face for a sign of approval or disapproval. I did not smile.

   “No?” she ventured.

   I breathed a sigh of relief before I spoke.

  “I’m so glad you reached the same conclusion as me. I don’t even know if we could keep you in The Princesses if you were to regularly start associating with Rafe Martin. He’s such a dork!”

   I smiled. I didn’t mean to be mean, but it was true.

  “I am so glad I have my new friend back,” I added, “I was so worried you’d gone over to the dark side and I’d never be able to speak to you again.”

   “Oh… well… how should I word my reply?”

   Hilly looked so confused it was only right to offer assistance.

  “Here,” I said, “I’ll help you. You can even use my laptop. This is how you should begin…”