Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Pride and Princesses The Missing Page chapter 9



 
  Chapter 9

The Missing Page
 
    ‘Of course not, you can’t count an audition as a proper date...well maybe just this once,’ Mouche said.

    ‘Great,’ I said. ‘Then it’s your turn next.’

    ‘Of course, I’ve already put myself out on a limb through a series of texts that have resulted in the Fall Fling that can totally count as date three...’

     ‘Ahhh! That’s so exciting. When’s date two?’

     ‘Ah... Jet and Mark want to meet us this afternoon near Santa Monica Pier to go swimming before we drive home...’

    ‘Are you serious? What should we wear?’

    ‘We should go shopping for swimsuits after lunch. I still have my emergency fund from working during the holidays.’

     ‘...mmm...I have exactly ten dollars...but, I have my dance leotard in the car...’

     ‘Okay, perfect. We’re meeting them at 1pm.’

     So, I’m standing at the foot of the escalator, adjusting my boot zipper, checking to see if I’ve developed blisters and thinking it will be a warm day in the South Pole before I get a movie part, since it’s pretty obvious I didn’t get this one. Moving right along though, I’m all excited about the impending date when I see Teegan’s face (upside down) as she brushes by me near the cinema complex.

     Then, when I stand up I bump into Matt and his boyfriend. I say, ‘sorry’ and they say ‘hi’ and Mouche giggles.

    ‘You know, Phoebe, men rarely humble themselves. It says here in How to Date the Undateable @ p8; ‘Men rarely apologize...apologies display weakness.’ So remember that.

     Mouche and I decide to go to a healthy looking cafe for lunch before checking out Victoria’s secret and Macy’s.

     We add extra detailed notes, in the cafe, on all the boys in our diary.

     ‘I can call this The Seduction Cafe in my notes next week...’ Mouche says. I flicked through the previous entries. At that stage we were reading more guides to dating than actually dating but all of that was about to change.

      Always be pleasant and eager – how else do you get what you want?’ I can hear Mouche’s voice reading from The Good Girlfriend (page 19) in my mind as we both collapsed in peals of laughter under the pile of titles such as, ’A Woman’s Guide to Blissful (and Married) Love’ (our mother’s mothers gave them that when they were teenagers). That particular title fell out of Mouche’s tote when the waiter brought us our chicken burgers and fries.

   ‘I thought we were supposed to be eating healthily...’

   ‘This is not so bad, as long as we add ketchup. Ketchup has lots of lycopene which is good for you,’ Mouche said.

    While we were munching away, Freya and Teegan entered the cafe - just to put us off our food. Mouche hurriedly scrunched her notes and stuffed them into her bag.

    ‘Hi Girlfriends,’ Teegan said. ‘I think I nailed it.’

    ‘Two auditions in one week,’ Tory added.

    ‘Mmm...’

    ‘Busy pretending to be friends again?’ I asked.

    ‘Well of course you nailed it, Teegan,’ Mouche added. ‘Isn’t your cousin the casting assistant?’

     Teegan looked quite put out. ‘Older sister,’ Freya added with a slight giggle and Teegan looked at her and rolled her eyes.

    ‘Well, we gotta go. Meter’s running...’ This was something Mrs Mouche always said when she was trying to get away from bad boyfriends. Mouche thought it might work just as well with frenemies.

    ‘Hey, we thought we could all have lunch together. We noticed that you were...really popular last week with the boys...I mean they were talking to you and we noticed you are both wearing really hot clothes and someone told us you are going to Fall Fling with Jet and Mark...’

    ‘We’ve gotta go,’ Mouche said. ‘C’mon Phoebe.’

     I got up to leave.

     We weren’t ready for a truce just yet. Not when we had planned the year to our social advantage already.

    We grabbed our stuff and left, hastily putting our burgers in their napkins.

   

    As we were driving into Santa Monica, I realized we had lost something.

   ‘Oh, no!’ I said as Mouche rounded the corner towards the pier.

   ‘What?’

    ‘A page of our notes – they’re missing...the page with the plan about how we should turn the teenage boys from undateable to dated...’

    ‘But you still have the rules, right?’

    ‘Yeah, they don’t know the rules.’

     Mouche just looked at me in horror. She knew the page had been left in the cafe with Teegan and Freya. It was as if we had armed the enemy with the perfect ammunition: a page of our thoughts about dating the guys at Sunrise High and the back story to each of those guys -  the prequel to the list of rules detailing just enough of our thoughts to lead them to the plan.

    ‘We have to focus,’ Mouche said

    ‘Yes, focus,’ I replied.

    ‘There’s nothing we can do right now,’ Mouche assured me. 

 

     Jet was waiting at the pier with two snow cones when we arrived in Santa Monica. Mark was nowhere to be seen.

    ‘Hey Mouche, hi Phoebe,’ Jet smiled in the most affable manner and I could tell Mouche smiled extra wide when she noticed the t-shirt he wore advertised a band that she liked. 

    ‘Mark had to go...park the car but he said he’d meet us here in ten minutes.’

    ‘Great,’ Mouche said. ‘Hey, I love your t-shirt. That’s my favourite band,’ she added, sounding just a little over eager if you ask me.

     We walked down to a sandy area reserved for ‘safe swimming’ where Jet had arranged to meet Mark. The weather had turned a little and it seemed our beach party idea might have to prematurely end before it started as the sky went from bright to cloudy all in the space of a few minutes.

    Mouche and Jet seemed to be having a great time though, splashing each other in the shallow water, as I read over my script sitting on a blanket. Mouche wore an eye-popping pink, polka dot bikini. I’d managed to find my regular navy blue leotard, which could double as a swimsuit. I’d left it in a school bag in the glove compartment of Mouche’s car. It was a pity not to wear it. Besides, as the afternoon wore on, it seemed the other half of the date wasn’t going to happen.

    I looked up from my script when some little kids on the beach kicked sand in my face. I considered the benefits of changing into my regular clothes and waiting in the car instead of being the third wheel. As Mrs Jones said, ‘being the third wheel on a date is a form of torture. I’d advise any girl being forced to witness the budding romance of her friend up close and personal...to go shopping.’

     Jet and Mouche were laughing in the shallows and although it was good to see them having so much fun, I was becoming a little exasperated. Feeling thirsty, I stood up, pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and yelled out, ‘I’ll be back in ten minutes!’ to Mouche.

      ‘What?’ Jet replied, until both he and Mouche seemed to understand. 

      Go shopping. It was the one piece of Mrs Jones’ advice I maybe shouldn’t have taken. I was suddenly extra thirsty and wandered up to the boardwalk to buy a drink. As I was turning to pay, I felt a tug on my purse strings. Not just a tug, a pull and in the time it takes to scream, a small boy ran off with my bag.

      He was as fast as lightning but I was also pretty quick and followed him for what seemed like minutes, through a tiny maze of backstreets until I was thoroughly confused and the boy seemed to have disappeared. I was desperate for a phone to call my mother but I didn’t want to worry her. Besides, what could she do all the way out in Sunrise? It was darker, later, and I’d been away from the beach for at least half an hour. Mouche would be starting to get worried.

     I dusted my jeans off then sat in the curb for a few minutes. Searching for a friendly face to ask for help was probably not the best idea. There was only one business open in this particular side street, and no people. The store looked dark and cramped, but beggars can’t be choosers or so the saying goes. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hasty.

 

     Meanwhile, Mark had arrived in Santa Monica. He was late after attending the last of his ‘counselling’ sessions. Mark was required to visit a psychologist after crashing his car into a shop window two years ago and driving without a licence. No one had been hurt, but still, it was a requirement for him to be able to drive without restrictions or Mark never would have attended the ‘sessions’, he later told me. He didn’t generally discuss his problems with strangers.

    The psychologist’s office was not far from Santa Monica but he’d been stuck in traffic.  Thoughts of the planned afternoon in Santa Monica were making him impatient. He really did want to get to know Phoebe and Mouche better. He wanted to introduce them to Petra as well. His sister had hardly left her room, except for school, since they’d arrived.

    When he’d asked Petra about her first day, she just burst into tears and ran up the stairs.

    ‘That bad?’ said Jet, ‘I told you those HSYL girls are nasty...’

    ‘If my aunt and uncle weren’t such snobs she could’ve just come to Sunrise with us.’        Mark was thinking about all of this when he noticed a girl who looked a lot like me, running up from Santa Monica beach after ‘a little street urchin.’ This alarmed him because he knew the area was not safe if you were by yourself. He knew it was later than expected, but he followed his instinct that all was not okay and tailed me into the laneway.  

    Meanwhile, Mouche was worried and on the verge of panicking.

    Her senses were in overdrive. Although she’d never admit it to Jet, she had been having very intense dreams lately and had woken up that morning with the idea that something might go wrong during the day if she and I were separated.

    ‘I just can’t imagine where she might have gone. We should go look for her. Phoebe would never go off alone and stay away without saying goodbye,’ Mouche said, as she and Jet dried off and hastily pulled their clothes on over their damp swimsuits. Then she had a vision of a CD outlet and said, ‘hurry, we should go up to the business centre beyond Santa Monica Boulevard...’

    ‘How do you know?’

     ‘I just...remembered, Phoebe said something about...buying some CDs...’

     So, I guess you could say, by the time I entered the small music store I had three people already searching for me, which could only have been a good thing.

    There was a grungy looking man sitting behind the counter, at least ten years older than me, wearing a t-shirt advertising dog fights. He was sort of creepy so I hovered near the entrance, wondering why this store had to be the only one open for business on a Saturday.

    ‘Hi,’ he said, and looked up. Music blared out.

    ‘Hi,’ I said hesitantly. I hope he couldn’t tell just how freaked out I was about losing my purse, or rather, having it stolen from me. ‘I’m just wondering which direction the pier is? Someone...a little kid, stole my purse.’

     He looked concerned.

    ‘Hey, do you wanna use the phone or something?

    ‘Uh, okay,’ I said hesitantly. I was glad I had committed Mouche’s cell number to memory. As I took steps forward, he moved off his chair and opened the latch that led to the area behind the counter.

    ‘It’s back here.’

    Suddenly, I was wary.

    ‘Can I use your cell? I’ll pay you.’

    ‘No problem, except I don’t have one.’

    Who doesn’t have a cell? I was backing out the way I came in when I heard a child screech. I looked above me to the open loft in the upstairs section of the store. A child looked down at me, I saw his reflection on the television screen. He was playing a computer game. It was the kid that stole my purse.

    ‘That’s him! That’s the kid who has my stuff.’

     It may have been unseemly but I actually pointed towards him.

    ‘Really?’ the man said innocently, ‘He’s my nephew, I don’t think...’

     Suddenly, I had this odd feeling Mr Music Store owner was running some kind of pickpocket racket when suddenly I took a step back into another person and turned around to see the face of Mark Knightly.

    ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ he said in his rich, low voice.

    ‘That child stole my purse.’

     Quick as lightening, Mark said, ‘wait outside,’ and pushed past me to race up the stairs.

    I heard a child throwing a tantrum and about ten seconds later Mark emerged with my tote bag in his hands.

    ‘Is this what you were looking for?’

     He didn’t say anything for at least three minutes as we walked back through the alley way, me trailing along behind his manly strides.

     ‘You shouldn’t be hanging out in this area,’ he felt the need to chide me. He seemed angry.

     ‘Excuse me. It’s a free country last time I looked.’

      I would’ve said ‘thank you’ more profusely by now but he barely seemed to notice me. He was distracted by a text from Jet.

      ‘Everything’s okay, we have to get back to Sunrise. I’ll drop you home. Your friend is going ballistic, seems she thought you’d been kidnapped. You shouldn’t have just wandered off like that alone.’

      I was stunned by his near total lack of empathy.

      ‘Well...if you’d been where you said you were going to be, I might have gone swimming and never had my purse stolen in the first place!’

     Mark looked annoyed.

     ‘Do you want to report this? I mean, to the Police.’

     ‘What’s the point, they’ll just deny it.’

      ‘I’ll get my aunt to make an anonymous complaint to child protection. It’s probably better that way,’ Mark said.

      ‘Why do you say that?’

      ‘Well...um, I’m sort of on probation and that guy had a gun under the counter...’ 

   We arrived back at Mouche’s house late-afternoon. Mark hardly said a word to me except, ‘put your seat belt on,’ on the way back. He was treating me like a child and I really wasn’t impressed. It was a thrill to be in his sleek car but I wasn’t sure just how much more of his conceited personality I could tolerate.

    I was relieved when we pulled up at my house. Mark deposited me in the driveway before I could say ‘thank you’. Mouche arrived about ten seconds later. Jet followed behind in his car. Mouche waved to him as we opened the gate and the boys drove off without even bothering to come inside.

Pride and Princesses The End of The Day chapter 10


Chapter 10

The End of The Day

    Trey was sitting on the porch helping Wednesday to paint her face with glitter and non-toxic substances when we arrived. He gave Mark a quizzical stare, but Trey had ignored me for most of my life so, I pretended not to care. The boys said a brisk, ‘see ya,’ to Mouche and me, then left as quickly as they’d arrived.

    Mouche’s brother looked up at both of us with what could only be described as amusement and derision. I mean, Trey had something of the authority figure aura about him. On this particular day, I have to tell you something I’d refrain from telling Mouche; he looked totally buff. He had his shirt off because he’d been swimming and his muscles were all big and cut...mmm. Kind of like how Mark might’ve looked without his shirt, only older.

     But Trey was angry. He had a dark, cute little cloud forming over his face and a wrinkle of exasperation between his eyes like he was ready to verbally lose it.

    ‘You guys said you would be back at one. Here.’ He deposited Wednesday’s paintbox in Mouche’s hands as if he was glad to be free of it.

    ‘Take it. I’ve decided child minding is ‘women’s work.’

    ‘So-rry. Someone’s chauvinistic brother is in a bad mood,’ Mouche added sarcastically.

    ‘Yeah, yours. I’m going out.’

    ‘Oh, it must be that skinny buck-toothed girl who also takes pre-med. She’s always coming around,’ Mouche said with a clever little sister smile. Mouche was particularly outspoken with family members and Trey was usually a safe target.

    He grabbed her sun hat and she chased her brother up the stairs but when he locked the child-proof fence behind him, Mouche screamed until he threw her hat back at her.

    Trey pretended not to notice me after that.

    Later, Mouche and I occupied Wednesday by allowing her to play with our makeup, while we compared shoes and ate gummy candy.

    When he was ready to go out, Trey left a slightly sweet smell in the hallway. As he walked past us, the air reeked of aftershave.

    ‘Wearing the latest ‘perfume for men’ are we? Oh, he’s so manly,’ Mouche teased.

   I swooned. Poor Trey just went all red and bolted out the door.

    Mouche and I both laughed and Wednesday clapped her hands again. She really was the smartest almost-three year old in the world.

    When Wednesday was born, Mouche and I applauded Mouche’s mom for her original name choice. Mrs Mouche liked to watch re-runs when she was a little girl of this classic show on television where the child was called, you guessed it, Wednesday. So, Mouche’s little sister is not just named after the day she arrived in the world. In any case, I’ve offered to babysit tonight, because Mouche has a ‘date.’

     We have planned to go for a swim. After that, I’ve promised to teach Wednesday how to become a star.  Some teenagers don’t like little kids but I love hanging out with Wednesday and if I didn’t want to be an actress, I might even become a nursery school teacher.

    Mouche has her ‘practice date’ organised for this evening from 6pm to 8pm with Scott Riley who lives across the road because, according to Mrs Jones’ guide, ‘a first date can often go badly...always have your next date planned, that way you won’t fret if the first one doesn’t work out...there are plenty more fish in the sea.

    Mouche gives her date with Jet priority so she’s practising with Scott. She suggested I also go with them to the ‘Midnight-Zoo’ (the Sunrise baby-animal zoo opens late once a year) but I don’t want to be the ‘third wheel’ again. Besides, I’ve been reading all about Africa in geography. One day I intend to go on a safari so I won’t be missing anything I can’t see in future.

    ‘I wanna come too,’ Wednesday says as she watches Mouche run the straightening iron through her hair.’

    ‘Oh, you get to stay with me, Wednesday. Lucky you...’ I say.

    ‘Lucky-me! Lucky-me!’ Wednesday says, clapping her hands. Children are so cute when they are pre-school age. 

     ‘How do I look?’ Mouche says ten minutes later.

     ‘Hot.’ We both clap our hands like we are Mouche’s fan club. ‘We are so glad we’re not going with you,’ I whisper under my breath. Scott was not exactly my dream man.

      ‘Now’, I said to Wednesday after Mouche vacated, ‘I’m going to put on this DVD of Mouche and I singing songs in first grade, you’ll just love it... and we can practice all the words after we’ve watched it.’

    Of course, Wednesday sang along for about ten minutes and I danced around with her but after all the face painting exertion, she wound up asleep in the corduroy beanbag in front of the television. I moved her out of the way of the radiation and looked up to see Trey rifling through a drawer in the kitchen.

    ‘Hey Phoebe, has Mouche just left you guys here?’

    ‘Yeah, it’s okay, I promised your mom I’d wait until she comes home. My mom is coming home soon...she has a late showing.’ My mom was busy selling a house three streets away.

    ‘Okay, if you’re sure it’s alright. You are really good with her...’

    ‘Uh...thanks.’ I smile. Trey is looking super hot. What a shame he is an older man and totally annoying. He thinks he’s going to be a band manager as well as a doctor.

   ‘...So?’ I asked Trey.

   ‘Huh?’

   ‘Forget something?’ I said with a smile.

   ‘Oh, I’m just trying to find my car keys...’

   ‘I think they’re in the fruit bowl...’

    ‘Oh,’ he says, grinning at me all white toothed and handsome. Gosh, he’s almost as good-looking as Mark Knightly, and because he’s older, he might even be hotter.

    Mouche and I took Trey’s car for a spin once when he was studying. He didn’t even notice it was gone until after we arrived home. Trey is so busy studying and trying to promote his band that the more important things in life, like having some serious fun, might just bypass him if he’s not careful.

    ‘I love your aftershave,’ I say, really sarcastically.

    He looks so embarrassed and Wednesday stirs and mumbles, ‘after-wave’ and Trey looks uncomfortable and says, ‘see ya’ in a confused manner and hurries out the door.

    ‘If a man is hesitant around you, don’t imagine you’ve reeled him in. He may just be unsure whether or not he wants to make the first move. And a man should always make the first move. And really, girls, do you want a man who doesn’t think enough of you to make the first move?’ Oh, Mrs Robinson can just shut up for the next day or so. I totally enjoyed making Trey cringe. Honestly, my new found confidence and all those old dating guides are working wonders.

   As Wednesday slept, I wrote up the Boy-Rating guide with the events of the day and the plan for the following month. Mouche and I are big on planning.

    But when it came time to put pen to diary paper, all I could think to write about my ‘date’ was:

   

    Date with Matt the UCLA older man – possibility- didn’t occur

    Rating 3/10 

    Items for the treasure chest: silver pen.

  

    Possible Date with Mark Knightly – My saviour!!!

    Rating 6/10 – it didn’t really happen, but he still managed to be in the right place at the right time. Yay! Thus far has revealed an arrogant nature with little regard for the feelings and schedule of others (i.e. me).

    Items for treasure chest locker: the receipt for my drink (doesn’t really count).

   

    I think I was sleepy by then because when I woke up it was morning and Mouche was lying on the floor next to Wednesday on the couch in front of the television. Breakfast News was playing. My mom had left me a note saying when she came by we were asleep and Mrs Mouche was home and she was going to come around at 9am to have breakfast with us. I’d looked so happy dozing and needed my rest.

    Trish was busy with her own life so she probably didn’t notice The Boy Rating Diary lay open on the floor on page nine (The first eight pages were filled with notes taken from various guides – mostly Mrs Robinson’s and Mrs Jones’ since they were our favourites). The notes included sub-headings (that might be of use to younger sisters such as Wednesday when she’s older) with topics such as:

 

·           Boyzamples (examples of familiar boy-types i.e.: academic, sporty, emo etc)

·           How to behave on dates

·           Likes / dislikes of future men

·           Targeted potential boy candy and

·           Items needed for your journey; be it New York, Los Angeles or Paris

 

The first page gave our mission statement:

 

This is the work of Phoebe Anderson and Mouche Macintosh.

Phoebe wants to be a Broadway singer, dancer, actress. Mouche: a brilliant lawyer. We want to help others as well as ourselves. This is our expose of the pre-men and women of Sunrise High (and a few random adults) starting with the Princesses and moving on down the list of pre-men prototypes we have or intend to date.

What follows is our advice, gleaned from hundreds of hours of research. We hope our experiences can shed light on yours...

 

After my notes on date one, Mouche added hers when she arrived home:

Date 3: Mouche and Scott

2/10

Identifying factors: his mother drove us everywhere

Job and personality: student, primary focus; science fair

Kisses: one on hand

Items gained: A feather (also disguised as a pen)

Possibility of re-date: none (hopefully)

 

*Date 2 Mouche...continued (notes):

 

    ‘Everything that could possibly be humiliating and bad about a date happened on this one...first of all, his mom came with us, which I thought was bizarre at first, but then it was okay. Scott’s mom was dressed like a hippie but it turns out we had a lot in common (we all liked pizza) so it wasn’t too bad. In fact it was preferable to talking to Scott as he didn’t have anything to say. It was also really sweet when she made her son open my door for me. I thought it was cute that she was teaching him to be chivalrous even if some people think it’s old-fashioned. Up until then he hadn’t spoken until we walked past the penguin enclosure...’

    ‘I hope you don’t mind my mom coming. It’s just that...it’s her car and she doesn’t trust me to drive it.’

    Wow is this supposed to make me feel secure in his arms? Wait a minute, I’m not even in his arms...

   Then he says, ‘after dinner let’s leave her in the gift shop and go make out...’

   ‘Are you serious? It would be a bit rude leaving your mom like that...’

   He’s starting to seem less like a nerd and more than a little undutiful...worst date ever except for the baby animal zoo where I got to feed a lot of different species and Scott’s mom, who used to be a vet, explained loads of interesting stuff to me. I think I will introduce her to my mom and Trish. She told me she her husband just ran off with a woman he met online.

    Is there something in the water of Sunrise? I shouldn’t be too hard on Scott. He must have immediate family tensions. Give him an extra point. Prompt arrival home at 8pm – Phoebe and Wednesday were asleep on the couch. We picked up Wednesday and I’m writing this while you were sleeping. Can’t wait for the Fall Fling. This was just for practice.  First planned dates are always just for practice. Onwards and upwards, Mrs Mouche always says. ‘Night.

Pride and Princesses The Cast List chapter 11


Chapter 11

The Cast List

     ‘Also, his mom was driving,’ Mouche said as we walked through our school corridor on Monday after lunch, on our way to check the cast list for Rocco and Julie: A Teen Tragedy!

    Teegan, Tory, Brooke and Freya glared at us from behind their lockers. Their looks said it all; don’t even think you’re going to beat us to the leading roles.

    ‘I need to speak to you,’ Teegan said to Mouche, ‘it’s about a certain crumpled piece of paper you left near the Century City sushi bar...’

    ‘I’ll have to check my schedule, Teegan, to see when I’m free. Maybe I can pencil you in. Meanwhile, I wouldn’t talk about what I’d read, if I were you...’

    ‘Is that a threat?’

    ‘No, it’s a warning...’ Mouche replied.

    There was, as you’ve already heard, some serious history and a buzz going around that Mouche and I had already been asked to the Fall Fling by Jet and Mark. The rumor about Teegan and Tory going with them was just that.

    The Princesses were on the warpath.

    ‘We know you are up to something,’ Teegan accused Mouche.

    ‘It’s just a matter of time before we find out what,’ Tory added.

    ‘I figure it will take them at least two weeks to work it out,’ Mouche whispered.

    ‘Especially since there are added distractions,’ I replied.

 

    Mr Sparks started clapping as we walked towards the notice board.

    I pretended to be nonchalant as I glanced up and saw my name and Jet’s and Teegan’s and...Mark’s? Are they kidding? He never even auditioned. Oh, there he is next to stage management and lighting and understudying. And then there, next to the role of Julie, was my name. Tory was playing the second lead. Mouche and I were pretty excited. Tory was mortified to be relegated to the part of Julie’s ‘best friend.’

   ‘This could be interesting,’ I thought.

   ‘Mmm...’ Tory sniffed, ‘there are no small parts, only small actors.’

   ‘Keep telling yourself that, Tory.’ Mouche added as we gathered our shoes for tap class.

   Mouche was to play the dream sequence ‘dancer Julie’, even though she hadn’t auditioned. Mr Sparks said he had some kind of contemporary dance in mind, and since Mouche was the best dancer in school, he’d like her to do it.

    ‘People just don’t get it Pheebs, when I say I’m giving up dance, though I love it. Let’s face it, my feet are too big to get into American Ballet Theatre anyway.’

    Performing Arts students took up the majority of the cast. Peter was playing Rocco and Mouche was also responsible for costumes and dance as well as a smaller role with one line which is ‘exactly’ what she wanted (so she could concentrate on getting the near-perfect scores she would need for her scholarship). Mouche has always had a way of twisting Mr Sparks and Miss Tartt around her little finger. 

    Suddenly we saw Jet. Teegan had cornered him in the theatre studies hall and was monopolizing his company. He seemed very keen to get away from her.

   ‘Avert your eyes,’ I warned Mouche, but she didn’t seem at all bothered.

   ‘I’d be so over him, but I’m definitely up for dating him at least once. He’s the perfect boyzample for Saturday night.’

   ‘What...hot?’

   ‘No, delusional...you can just tell he thinks the whole world loves him. I’ve changed my mind about him since watching him flirt with just about every girl he meets.’

    ‘But he did ask you, and he doesn’t know anyone, and you seemed to have a great time swimming on Saturday. You can’t blame him for trying to make friends.’

    ‘It says here, ‘guys want other guys for ‘intellectual company’ meaning not girls.’

    ‘Well that guide sucks...it’s wrong...’

    ‘Wouldn’t be so hasty about that...’

    ‘What decade was it written in anyway, the 1930s?

    ‘1960s. Did you see what Mark was wearing today? Hot jacket. He really is...very European. Here...check this out.’

   That’s when Mouche handed me the note, and before I had to worry about her sudden interest in Mark, I realised she had date four already in the bag.

     Tobias Olsen. Who knew he had a weekend interest in golf?

    ‘When are you meeting him?’

    ‘I don’t know. I’m thinking, practice range, next week, but I haven’t replied yet. Sometimes it’s good to make them wait and leave them wondering...’

    ‘I doubt it, ‘men don’t beg’, it says so here, page 38.’

     Mouche was becoming very confident with regard to the rules we’d written. Was the game going to her head? Had the plan overtaken real life?

    ‘Give me that.’

    I handed her Mrs Mouche’s tome, Mrs Robinson’s Guide to Getting Your Man..

    ‘What a load of garbage,’ Mouche said, ‘I can’t believe life was like this...’

    We read on about the necessity of ‘nailing’ your man and securing his affections in order to get him to ‘propose’...

    ‘Propose what?’ Mouche said, ‘A lifetime of childbirth and slavery for women way back when – now she was reading A History of Suffrage – and was hooked. ‘I’m so glad we were born in the 90s.’

   The Boy Rating Diary is about the possibility of love and romance...’ I say with a hint of irony.

   ‘True..,’ Mouche replied.

    It was mid-afternoon and instead of study hall we had preliminary ‘rehearsal time’ which is another reason all of the performing arts students and so many of the general studies students were now involved in the play. Teegan was being consoled by her ‘sorority sisters’ about not getting the part she wanted.

    ‘Never mind’, Freya said helpfully, ‘you couldn’t play the role you wanted anyway.  They’re not even doing Hairspray.’

     ‘I know but it was the perfect part for me. She’s not even that talented.’

     ‘I know, I can’t believe you didn’t get it, you are much more talented...and beautiful,’ Brooke said.

     ‘I’m not talking about the stupid play! I’m talking about the tacky film!’

     ‘Never mind. It was low-budget, Teegs.’

     ‘They decided to cast an African-American. My sister just texted me. This has been the worst day of my entire life. I’m a winner, not some loser.’ The other Princesses commiserated with Teegan.

    Thom had texted me that morning, so I knew I hadn’t got the film part either. But the play kind of made up for it.

    ‘Never mind,’ he’d said, ‘I’m going to send over a scout to see you in your new showcase at the end of your junior year. How’s Wednesday?’

     Thom was ever the optimist. So what if I didn’t get some stupid part? I wouldn’t give those who’d slighted me the thrill of seeing me losing my pride and crying in public.

    Then Thom texted me with an audition for Wednesday: toddlers needed at 3.30pm casting suite, North Road don’t be late!    

    ‘I think he might just be using you to get to my sister,’ Mouche said.

     ‘It might be fun...I think Wednesday would like it...’ I replied.

     Mouche pulled my cell off me at that point.

     ‘I just know that teacher is going to completely lose it if I don’t,’ she whispered as Miss Tartt snuck up behind us and then hovered in the corner like an eagle. Mouche is very intuitive like that. She’s also smart enough not to get caught up in the acting game and risk getting her feelings hurt time and again.

     ‘Maybe we shouldn’t risk Wednesday’s self-esteem.’ I added as an afterthought.

      ‘No. But sometimes it’s good to take risks. I have a feeling if she auditions, she might just get it.’

     ‘Really? And life is about taking chances to make gains,’ I said. ‘That’s why we are putting our hearts and minds on the line for the Boy-Rating Diary.’

    ‘Okay, but right now, we’re supposed to be learning the basic script for Rocco and Julie – a Teen Tragedy...oh, please,’ Mouche sighed. ‘I’m glad I only have one line.’

     It is a little known fact that Mr Sparks, who has an ego mightier than just about anyone you will ever meet, had scrapped the whole idea of doing Hairspray because of ‘costs’. Our afternoon theatre classes are now replaced by play rehearsals and the dancers, singers and actors are all in different groupings going over their scenes. Mr Sparks is egomaniacal, of course, but also unintentionally funny. The incidental music and dancing is, I must grudgingly admit, very memorable. Although I am trying to be contained, I’m obviously thrilled to have the lead role.

     We can hear Mr Sparks in the hallway having a very heated argument with the vice-principal about budgeting, as Mouche and I read our scripts backstage.

     ‘No, non, non! It actually saves money if some of the teachers play the adult parts...’

     ‘Yes, Gary, but not just one of the teachers playing three parts...’

     ‘Are you saying I’m not qualified to play the roles? I went to drama school. I have an MFA! I’m the best man for the job!’

      Wow, we’d never heard Mr Sparks so hysterical. Mouche started giggling.

     ‘I’m just saying, you might try giving at least two of the parts to the older boys...directing is a full-time job, Gary, and the school understands all the sacrifices you make...’

      ‘Typical,’ Mouche and I said, snacking on Pringles and highlighting our dialogue with pink fluorescent pens, ‘that man is totally driven.’

    ‘I overheard Tory saying he tried to cast himself in all the leading roles, including the female ones, but in the end gave up and that’s why he only had three, and now he’s only got one.’

     Teegan snorted with laughter and all the Princesses overheard us because they were seated close by. An onlooker might almost have thought we were friends. Almost. Mark walked past us and the students parted company for him. He looked very miserable, like he wanted to drop out of school. Then he looked up at Mouche and me, said, ‘hi, see you Saturday,’ and smiled.

     I felt a secret thrill when he spoke and Mouche said, ‘sure.’

    ‘Throwing you a bone, is he girlfriends?’ Teegan whispered witheringly. Jealousy is such an affliction. 

 

    We all gathered around the stage at the close of the school day, the students playing leading roles as well as the soloists, including Teegan, Freya Tory and Brooke.

   ‘There’s just not enough of me me me to go around, people,’ Mr Sparks said on stage, the strobe lights sedating us into submission, making the auditorium seem like a daytime disco.

    ‘Welcome to week one of rehearsals for the school play. Whilst it is normally the performing arts students who swell the ranks of our cast (Mr Sparks winked at Peter Williamson and Mouche and me) we are happy to have the addition of many of our talented general studies students with us. In the weeks ahead we will create our show, our piece de resistance. It will take hours of hard labor to create genius. During our last week we’ll be rehearsing all weekend, so I’d like you to make a note in your journals or laptops and keep the weekend of the eighth free.’

    Everyone beeped out their cells or blackberrys or whatever they used to keep dates in.

    I cringed for the boys. Mark was sitting there in a black leather jacket looking really hot and arty but holding a Physics text, not exactly interested, although I did see him glance in my direction at least once. Perhaps I imagined it.