(#Fourteen: Letters) Wuthering Nights: Inspired by Wuthering Heights

Chapter Fourteen 

Letters 

From Kate to Heath  

Dearest Heath

    It’s the night after the dance and I’ve been told to pack and be ready to leave in an hour. No one will tell me why I’m wanted at The Hall. It may be something to do with Harrison.  No one can find you. I think you must be out hunting. Father insists I am to return home on the next train. My bags are packed and I’m writing this to you in case you don’t arrive in time to catch the train with me. I want you to know what I have never told you enough - how much I love you. I am leaving this under your door to read when you return.

    I keep thinking of the events that led to me being separated from you and wanted to clear up the misunderstanding that occurred… I’m going back to the beginning…

     Annabelle stopped by (such a swat) on her way from the school library, to show me her dress. Don’t ask me how we’ve become friends but I suppose that’s what you could call us, until tonight. Anyway, I’d been trying to get her to wear contacts for ages, and finally she’d agreed. It was like a new person greeted me at the door.

    ‘Kate, you look beautiful,’ she said. I felt it was my turn to repay her compliment.

     We sat together at my dresser, me in my pink satin slip, bought especially to go with my dress for the occasion (I can’t believe I’m writing this down!) to impress you later as we planned!  Annabelle had draped my dressing gown over her clothes and was trying on my slippers. We painted our nails to match our dresses. Afterwards, I did Annabelle’s makeup. I was quite thrilled to have made Belle my personal project as I felt her transformation on the surface would lead to a more profound transformation of her personality.

     I was so excited to see your band play in front of a real audience for the first time. I knew you’d rock the place out; you’re so hot and talented, how could you be anything but amazing? And you were amazing, Heath. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel different, just because you are. 

      When Annabelle emerged from my bathroom transformed in a cream and silver tasselled dress, I was surprised. Then I complimented my new friend.

   ‘Wow,’ I said, ‘you look completely amazing!’

   ‘Do you think so? Do you think anyone will notice?’

    By “anyone” I was pretty sure she meant you and I ignored the insinuation.

   ‘Of course, you look beautiful Annabelle,’ I said, and meant it.

    Annabelle smiled. She said she knew her pale, icy prettiness wouldn’t last. ‘I have a slim figure but I know I lack the… specialness that would make a boy like Heath, for example, sit up and take notice.’

    I knew she wanted me to disagree, but I could never just let her think you were hers for the taking. Instead, I told her any guy would be lucky to have her. And I believed it, (unless that guy was you, of course). Annabelle was, or rather is, perfect girlfriend material, more perfect than me. She’s perfectly boring, perfectly spoken and perfectly nice. How could you not like her Heath? Tell me what I saw never happened!  Do you remember how much we hated the Hunts as children? How we used to laugh at them?

    Of course, Edmund has always disliked you because you were braver than him – or so I thought. He called you “rough” but I know Annabelle secretly had a crush on you from the time we all met up at Hareton Hall during summer holidays and I put on a fashion show. Remember?

    The fashion show began and ended with me showing off my new sports uniform. All of our school friends came and it was my idea to donate the door money to charity! Annabelle was invited to model also, but I went first. Edmund and Annabelle took their seats, open mouthed, on the floor. I’d set up the old ballroom like a theatre and forced you to grudgingly hold the curtains and shine the spotlight. You studied our neighbouring friends without hiding your irritation. You still hadn’t forgiven their father for accusing you of harming their dog when we were small, and I don’t blame you. You looked like you wanted to be anywhere but inside The Hall that day but this was a chance to “let bygones be bygones,” as Greta once said.

   ‘May I take your coat, Annabelle?’ I remember Greta asking.

   ‘Yes, thank you very much,’ the girl with milk skin answered. You must have found her vaguely pretty, I’m sure, even though you barely showed her any attention when she modelled and clapped loudly when I did. If both she and her brother hadn’t irritated us so much with their bland, insipid privilege, perhaps we would all have been friends, earlier. But we always preferred being outside when we were children, didn’t we? Playing on Hampstead Heath in the wind, remember?

  Anyway, earlier tonight Annabelle continued to blabber on as we got ready…

    ‘I honestly think Heath is the most handsome boy I’ve ever met…’

    I couldn’t disagree. I sometimes wonder if Annabelle’s plan to befriend me had something to do with wanting to be near you. She stood up and hovered at the entrance to my room when she was nearly ready as if she wanted to share more unasked for information.

     I turned around from my dressing table.

    ‘You look like… a princess,’ she gasped. It was her turn to flatter me. Annabelle was still gawping at my darkly made up eyes, long gloves, low-cut dress and glitter eye shadow.  ‘Although I’m not sure the school…’ 

     ‘Oh, I couldn’t care less if I get a stupid demerit for wearing a revealing outfit…’ I said.    ‘Don’t look so shocked, Annabelle. Come over here and help me tease my hair. It is a 1960’s theme after all!’

   ‘You look…amazing,’ she said as I applied my pale, pink lipstick.

    It was eight in the evening and the Battle of the Bands Dance had been going for at least half an hour when we arrived. We stood at the top of the stairs surveying the scene we helped create, glitter ball and all. It was spectacular. I knew you were on last and your band was the only one I wanted to cheer for Heath. I thought the school hall, lit up with disco lights, looked amazing, didn’t you? I took Annabelle’s cream gloved hand in my pink gloved one as we casually walked down the staircase towards the cloak room and saw the whole school lit up with a banner that read Sixth Form Dance.

   When your band played, you guys were awesome. We clapped wildly so you would hear us but you looked straight past me and smiled at Annabelle! She smiled back! I happen to know you’d barely said more than two words to her in all your life, yet she was convinced you were in love with her after that. How could this be so, Heath? I am sorry for doubting you but as her obsession seemed to know no limits. I couldn’t help but wonder if you had ever done anything at all to encourage her.

    The lights were lowered as the heating and the energy in the room warmed and I noticed you pour something from a flask into your water bottle. I think, maybe, you had forgotten your Magenta. You looked hungry.

    The band started playing again and you were amazing as I always knew you would be. Annabelle’s face lit up and I would have started laughing if it wasn’t so annoying. I suppose I just decided to fight fire with fire.

     Soon I was surrounded by a group of boys and some of them started dancing and thrashing to the music and I was caught up in the throng of activity. Food was passed around, teachers stood back and hovered, talking amongst themselves, finally letting everyone dance without bothering to interrupt.

      The set stopped and afterwards, I saw you attempt to move towards me as Annabelle headed in the opposite direction. You didn’t push past her as I expected you to and I refused to show anyone I’d noticed.  You looked embarrassed when she clutched your arm and told you how great you were but perhaps you had matured too much to be openly rude as you once might have been. I could barely hear your voices above the dance music but the conversation went something like this:  

    ‘Hi. The band was amazing,’ Annabelle said.

     You were flattered. I could tell by the careful way you smiled and said, ‘Thanks Annabelle.’      

      ‘It reminds me of the music we played when Kate and I used to make up dances and modelling shows… remember when we lived next door to each other...’

      How interesting, I thought, when Annabelle knew the dances and fashion shows were entirely directed by me.

     ‘Of course,’ you said, ‘how could I forget? You were always so creative,’ I could not believe what I was hearing. I also couldn’t believe any girl could be quite so…obvious or that you could flatter her so easily. You started packing your guitar in its case and you didn’t even give me a second glance.

      I admit I was occupied with a group of friends by this point but that was because I was so annoyed that you had all but ignored me. How could you, Heath? Finally, you glanced over at me but I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of realising that I’d noticed. I realise now, you were mad at me for not telling you I loved you in return in the cottage the day before. But did you have to pay me back by flirting with Annabelle? It worked.

    In fact, I barely gave a second to look in your direction. The look on your face said it all. I admit, I was wondering if you were having second thoughts about us. It is true that you are from another world but that is not why I love you, I know that. I know that you would love me even if we’d been brought up together on the street. Games are for other people, Heath, not us.

     You only have to be yourself with me and I love you completely, for that alone. You once told me you could do anything you wanted, be anyone you wanted and so could I. I am so much like you; I am you. You left too early from the dance, if you heard my reply to Edmund’s question but not my true answer. Please come back to me. Save me from whatever fate has in store for me without you.  If you are reading this, I am on the train alone and you did not return in time to come with me. I shall wait for you at Hareton Hall…almost as if, although separate, we are one.

I love you more than words can ever say.

Yours forever,

Kate

  

The second letter was in Heath’s handwriting, dated that night:

    Dearest Kate

    Love and loyalty forever, without one the other doesn’t exist! How could you imagine otherwise?  I have not stopped thinking about you since we parted tonight and I’m writing this now, to give to you in the morning since the house mistress said you could not see me tonight. I walked over to the girls’ school to find you but the teachers wouldn’t tell me where you had gone. Someone said you had been taken back to London and that because no one could locate me, I am to leave on the morning train. They won’t tell me why either, just that I am wanted at home.

     I feel the need to set things straight between us, since this is our first quarrel and I could not go to sleep angry – or go to sleep at all knowing you are on your way to Hareton Hall without me. I shall give this to you when I see you since it will be easier than spoken words.

     I hope father is okay. You know I love him as if he were my own, and I have a strange feeling something is up from the way the school counsellor has been speaking to me with added empathy. No one will tell me anything. 

    I hope you at least decide to open this because I know you were angry with me last night. In light of what has happened, our quarrel seems pointless, so please, when you receive this, don’t just throw it out the window. You know I never write letters, never, but I am making the exception for you, because you are special Kate and always will be, because I love you forever and you know I always will.

    I’m going to start at the beginning and I’m warning you, this letter is going to be more than a few pages long…

     Okay, it’s true that I was deeply embarrassed by Annabelle being “all over me” as you put it. In my defence, it was past eight and I hadn’t been able to get to my supplies and I felt strangely weakened, my desire for blood stronger than ever. I am sorry to have to tell you this, but it is the truth. I won’t go on about it but I was feeling less than my best which may have added to the perception that I was ignoring you. Remember Kate, it is hard to be the one saying “I love you,” and not hearing those words in return.  

     As for the Band Battle, I think we were attracting a few fans (this bit is supposed to make you laugh!) but I admit Annabelle was very obvious tonight. Even our drummer noticed her behaviour. She credited you with her makeover! Perhaps you should have given her a make-under - just kidding.  Yes, I smiled back at her as I glanced around the room, waiting for YOU who seemed to be ignoring me! We had agreed to meet outside after the set had finished, to continue the party…elsewhere. But the scout from London was here and the band wanted me to put in an appearance. After he left, Mr Jones was on the war path trying to round up the boys who spiked the punch …guess who? Annabelle was a decoy, someone to hide behind. I am ashamed to say that is why I went outside with her and this is what happened next…

    Annabelle sipped her drink and tried to make conversation, thrilling lines such as:

    ‘Do you have plans, Heath, for when school ends?’

    I replied, ‘yes,’ wondering how long before it would be safe to go inside.

    ‘I don’t… not really. Father wants me to apply for university. I thought I might like to go to Art College in London instead.’

    I nodded, still waiting for you, feigning interest in her vapid conversation. I glanced through the glass doors and saw you and the moronic Edmund Hunt, dancing. Great choice if you wanted to make me jealous Kate, it worked.

    Annabelle looked up and said, ‘My brother seems to have taken a shine to…your sister.’

    I gulped my drink as one of the band made a secretive gesture in his direction indicating more alcohol would be forthcoming.

   ‘She’s… not my sister,’ I said quickly (because you aren’t!)

   ‘No… I’m sorry, of course not, but you were raised together…’ Annabelle added, more annoyingly than ever.

    ‘Only until we came here…almost six years ago now,’ I replied, setting the record straight.

     Annabelle then changed the subject.

    ‘I thought I’d hate it here but sometimes I prefer the school to home. I like having friends of my own.’

    (I’m not sure what you said to her that afternoon, Kate, but she was under the impression you were her new best friend!)

     I admit, it’s true, this next part makes me seem inconsiderate but I was bored by her conversation and looked around the room. I became even more annoyed by your flirty behaviour with rich boy Edmund. Annabelle was all…wobbly by then. I think she’d been drinking too much punch even though it was never designed for her! She kept putting her hand on my shoulder to steady herself and at one point I returned the gesture to hold her up!

     I looked across the room and there you were, beautiful in your pink dress, glaring at me. You turned your head (to listen to Edmund’s scintillating conversation, no doubt).

     Annabelle said, ‘Oh look, Kate’s dress fans out in waves across the floor, in waves at her feet like the ocean…’

     And at that moment, that’s exactly where I wanted to be with you. As far away from that school and our families and all the people who ever knew us, because I only want you, Kate, forever.

     Then, the music reached a fever pitch and Annabelle was jumping up and down and you were in the middle of the group and I was watching you and then you…fell down.

     ‘Oh,’ Annabelle said, suddenly still, ‘I hope Kate’s okay.’

     I moved towards you but Edmund Hunt got there first.

     Annabelle looked at me all gaga by then.  It’s true that I glanced at her, but more like she was a consolation prize! This was just as you turned heads paying Edmund your undivided attention!  (One of my teammates once walked in on the pair of them – brother and sister – trying to teach each other to dance in the student common room!) Honestly, Kate, we should never let either of them get between us. They are not worth it! (Jealous? Yes, at least I admit it!) I turned away as Edmund was helping you up.

   ‘Do you want to go outside?’ Annabelle asked me, unexpectedly.

     What was I supposed to say? I suppose I could have declined and stormed off like a girl but I wanted to make you pay. I’m sorry, I know that love is patient and kind; I know that is what we are taught but you and I are different. Words are not enough. I just want to be with you…impatiently, all the time. And sometimes I want to suck the vein in your wrist but I hold back because I’m trying to be better than that for you Kate, I’m trying not to have to be what I was born to be. You make me try to be a better man. Tonight I was less than my best, I know…

    The balcony was divided into sections for groups to talk and socialize.

    I made sure rich boy saw me as you told Edmund you were okay while he helped you outside.  I wanted to make you jealous so I put my arm around Annabelle then released her moments later.

     ‘Wait here,’ I told Annabelle, ‘I’m going to get you some water. I’ll be back in a moment.’ That’s when I heard you. Rich boy spoke first.

     ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

     ‘Ah, I think it might be some kind of… minor sprain,’ you said.

     ‘Do you… need me to help you back to… ?’

     ‘No, I like the fresh air.’

     I could hear your words clearly Kate as I went to get Annabelle’s drink. 

     ‘Do you… need me to help you back to your room? Or would you like me to get…your friend, the one you’re always hanging out with,’ Edmund said jealously I might add.

     ‘That is not necessary, I do some things by myself you know… and we are not always together.’ I could hear those words Kate! You spoke them!

     ‘Well, certainly, people don’t see you together but I’ve heard…’ he went on.

     ‘Perhaps you listen to too much student gossip…’ you sounded mortified that people might guess we were together!

    ‘No…not at all,’ Edmund said, ‘I just thought you were with…’

     I was standing outside the balcony tent by then, hidden from view, but once I heard the topic of conversation I couldn’t resist pausing. Trust is fragile Kate!  You need to explain the rest to me because I never stop loving you no matter what you do…you added these words:

     ‘There is nothing to think… I’m my own person. I’m not with…anyone. I don’t have a boyfriend…’

      I admit I freaked out standing there in the shadows like a stranger to your life. Hadn’t we just spent the morning together? Hadn’t we been closer to each other than anyone else in this life? I wanted to teach you a lesson for being disloyal, so I stormed off through the crowd.

      By now you must know, Annabelle means nothing to me, nothing. YOU ARE MY LIFE KATE SPENCER.

     Later

     Then I woke up this morning to hear your father had died suddenly. I am on the morning train to London, drinking my supply. Honestly, I feel completely lost and only want to see your face again. Our petty argument seems just that. He was the only father I ever knew, too, Kate. I never met a kinder more sincere man in my life. I’m so sorry, Kate.

     I LOVE YOU I NEED YOU I WANT YOU FOREVER.

     I will be at Hareton Hall as soon as possible

     Hxxxxxxxxxxxx. (and here the page was smothered in at least a dozen kisses and hugs and what looked like the smudge of tears…)

   I read over the childish letters in the dark. It seemed plausible that Kate and Heath were separated as part of a plan Harrison was forming.

   Soon after, Kate was sent to Finishing School in Switzerland, where she stayed for three months until her eighteenth birthday.  Both sets of school fees were cancelled and Heath was thrown out of the house, onto the street, his inheritance “absorbed” in the family trust and expenditure – justified by Harrison’s appointment as the executor of the family estate. Neither of the younger Spencers appears to have completed secondary school in Scotland.  A final letter from Kate (written in Switzerland) filled me in on some of the missing details.

     Dear Heath

     By now you will know where I am and why and I wait patiently to join you.

     How typical of Harrison to have tricked the school into separating us, and how alone and terrible I feel without you now. I wait for you and please know everything that happened at the dance is ancient history; it all means nothing in light of recent events.  I still cannot believe father is gone. 

     Greta is taking this with her and has promised to give it only to you. Harrison, as you know, confined me to my room before I was packed off to Switzerland. He locked the door and barred the window after he dragged me from your path and would not let me leave this room. He says my place is with my family and not with “a freak”. But you are my family Heath, and if that makes us freaks together, so be it. We will meet as planned and Harrison will never separate us again.

    You won’t believe what he has done! His new girlfriend, Frances (we call her Franny and so far she is a good natured sort of person, trying to bring me food and drink when Harrison is not about) is soon to be his wife! The little boy (a mere toddler) is her brother. His name is Hinton. They allowed him into my room to give me company before I was packed off to Finishing School. How kind of them. He too is a good natured little boy, with a face like a cherub. He likes to play with his toys and offers them to me to “make me better”. I hate to imagine how Harrison’s influence could change him since he is such a sweet child. I have tried to warn Frances but she is so “in love” she refuses to listen, and so far, Harrison has only presented his nicer side. He insists I am in my room for my own good and I barely have the energy to resist any more. With you gone, I have nowhere to turn. I have enclosed half the money we saved together in my piggy bank as children. I’d hidden it and you will need it more than me. Please don’t send it back!

     This will be shorter than the last letter. I just want to clear up what happened at the stupid Battle of the Bands and we can talk when I finally see you. Greta has promised to send you the details and I know you will contact her; I just know it.

    Our school days seem pretty aimless in light of what has happened. Father died in my arms just before you arrived home. It was horrible, Heath. I miss him so much. I think he was our only ally.

     Back to our stupid misunderstanding; I know my thoughtless behaviour hurt you more than any beating or withdrawal of privileges we ever received from Harrison, just as yours did me; so not worth it. I love you, too, more than anything or anyone else. You should know, before we make plans, that this is what happened after you left the ball room that night. 

     I told Edmund that I couldn’t ever go out with him. He asked me if I was “attached” to anyone (which I found old fashioned and funny although I hardly imagine myself laughing ever again right now…)

     ‘I…can’t go out with you Edmund,’ I said.

     ‘But, you just told me you are not attached to anyone,’ he replied.

     That’s because I’m… more than attached. Those were my exact words, but you didn’t stay in the room long enough to hear them.

      I added, ‘It is true that you don’t see Heath and I together… in public or at school much but… we are more than attached. We are together in secret. We plan to move to London next year but of course my older brother would never approve so we just keep it to ourselves. It is true we are young but we are like, the same person. I could never imagine being without… Heath.’ And blah blah blah I went on, embarrassed to be relaying those words now, but they are TRUE.

    ‘I see,’ Edmund replied. Pale and dorky though he is; I think he meant us both well. ‘I knew you were close… Anyway, I’m going up to Cambridge next year….’ And after I had assured him there was no hope we would ever be more than friends, Edmund looked away, hurt. So please don’t hate him for liking me because I think he is actually a good person. He seemed to understand and asked if we could remain friends. I didn’t know what else to say so I said “yes”, but truly, it all meant nothing. I tried to get up but the pain in my ankle made me hesitate. I looked for you but you were NOWHERE. That night I dreamt that we were parted and I begged you to come back to me.

Tell me this isn’t true!

COME BACK TO ME NOW HEATH. I LOVE YOU I NEED YOU I WANT YOU FOREVER AND EVER.

Love Kate (sealed with a thousand kisses)

(#Fifteen: Shadows) Wuthering Nights: Inspired by Wuthering Heights

Chapter Fifteen

Shadows

     And here I sat, the daughter of such a woman. I was quite surprised, I admit, at the evident depth of affection between her and Heath and quite annoyed at how meanly Heath had spoken of my loyal, kind and loving father.  It was hard to get over the disloyalty in my mother’s letters, but I tried to justify my reading of them in the name of “research”.

     Greta walked into the kitchen light and she relayed to me the story of Kate and Heath’s parting. As we sipped tea and I waited for my cousin Hinton to emerge so we could go and work at the studio like we planned...

     This is what Greta told me:

    ‘When Heath arrived home he was ignored by Harrison who had brought his new girlfriend with him. Heath was just counting down the days until he and Kate could go back to school. Harrison had other plans. He’d withdrawn the fees for both children for their final semester of school. They had no say in the matter.

      Heath couldn’t have cared less about boarding without Kate close by and Kate had never been academic. When we arrived back at The Hall, Heath discovered Kate in a heap, on the couch, crying over her father’s old photographs. When I went in to take them some tea, they were huddled together so close; I thought no one would ever tear them apart. Heath was also distraught. Your grandfather had been the only adult (apart from me) to love him and take care of him.

   When the news had arrived, the worst, Kate and Heath were left alone. Heath hugged Kate in the child’s playroom while she wept and he unsuccessfully tried to hold back tears for the only man who had ever been a parent to him.

    After, we all sat in the old playroom as the news from a television blared on in the background giving us all a good excuse not to talk. Repeat images of political unrest in other parts of the world were on replay in a documentary. It was an irony not lost on any of us, for it was obvious, our world within Hareton Hall was crumbling.

     I agreed to stay on to try to protect the youngster Hinton and Harrison was seemingly civil to Kate throughout that week. He had more important plans to occupy his mind. We were stunned to discover he intended to install his new girlfriend Frances, as his wife, (they married at a registry office the following Saturday). 

     At first, Franny was warm towards Kate and barely civil to Heath, (taking her cue from Harrison). Once she’d married Harrison, she lost interest in everyone else in the house, including her younger brother, and took to going on long walks across the heath. Hareton Hall has that strange effect on people or maybe it was the revelation that her new husband wasn’t all he seemed. Sometimes I’d hear him yelling at her in the night and would place my hands over young Hinton’s ears. I thought it a blessing that Kate was to be sent away but it was mean of Harrison to cancel their fees for the final term.

     Kate’s older brother had made plans to conquer and divide the two younger “shareholders” as he thought of them. He’d never really been able to control Kate. Although there had been a vast inheritance left to both the younger Spencers, Harrison made sure that Heath’s share was written off to various expenses. Heath and Kate were still minors, after all. The shares that remained were left to be invested in the family trust and managed by Harrison on behalf of the two teenagers.

     Harrison insisted that Heath make his room in the basement and groom the horses every morning. Heath did so, happily in fact, preferring to be outside rather than anywhere near Harrison. I asked when Heath would be enrolled back in school but Harrison seemed to think that was nothing to be concerned about. I feared the worst; that he intended to throw Heath on the street the moment he turned eighteen the following week.

    Both Heath and Kate were not unaware of the plot against them as they took the horses to be exercised on the heath that last cold, autumn day when Heath was still in my care. Kate was in a near dreamlike state with her grief having marked a serious return to study as nearly pointless. ‘After all, how many artists need an academic education, Greta?’ she asked me. Really, Kate was delusional.

     Instinctively, Heath, who had never trusted Harrison, knew there would be changes at Hareton Hall and he suspected his plans for university would be delayed in some way without access to the necessary funds. He needed money to hire a lawyer and by the time he had that he knew the funds would be siphoned off. He just hung on, taking his medication as scheduled, accessing his secret supplies to normalize his blood, and all the time wanting to rip Harrison to shreds. He hung on for Kate, waiting for her to turn eighteen so they could run away and never be under the control of Harrison again. If they ran off too soon, Harrison would inform the authorities that he suspected Heath was a vampire. Though not illegal, it would officially be a mark against him for life. There was so much discrimination. For example, vampires had to get permission to hold certain jobs and human-vampire marriage was discouraged.      

    Meanwhile, Harrison had cancelled the cheques Heath had sent to apply for university and it was too late for him to enrol to finish the school term at the local comprehensive. A scholarship was out of the question until the following year. Heath turned eighteen in a matter of days and Harrison would no longer be his court appointed guardian. Kate and Heath tried not to think about the family tensions as they rode together that day. 

    Kate had started eating again, having lost her appetite for a week and I had wisely packed the picnic basket with a lunch of their favourite things. Kate had put in a bottle of apple cider for after and her favourite mohair red checked blanket. Harrison was busy planning his next party for his new wife and to impress future investors in the various businesses he had purchased. He’d also taken to drinking in the afternoons (not a good sign). Kate’s older brother was only too happy not to be bothered with the younger members of the household as long as they were out of his sight.

    Hampstead Heath was dotted with people on that autumnal Saturday; mother’s pushing babies in prams, small children running and playing games with kites, picnicking groups. These appeared to be fully functioning families, Kate was thinking, unlike hers. The pergola offered beautiful views across Hampstead and there were artists sketching near The Hill Garden as Kate and Heath strolled. They walked with their horses for about thirty minutes to reach the hidden garden and Glass House. Near the fish pond at the far end of a small alcove, there was a lovers’ bench with panoramic views of North London.

     They placed a blanket on the ground after they’d found water for the animals. Kate placed the food in the centre, while they talked and enjoyed the spread of chicken, potato salad, coleslaw, tea and crusty French bread that lay before them. Well, Kate did. Heath only ate the chicken – all of it.   It was to be their last carefree day. As if to recognize that fact the sun hid in shadows behind the clouds as they talked, finally spitting down in tiny drops of rain. They had to quickly pack up all their belongings and head for the hidden, glass arboretum. As children, escorted to a night fair, they had once seen the stars in the evening sky from the same spot.

    ‘Do you forgive me for what I said, the night of the dance?’ Kate asked. ‘You should have stayed to hear the rest.’

  ‘Of course, Kate, tell me again,’ Heath said as he brushed her hair with his fingers.

  ‘Well,’ Kate said, sitting up. ‘I added, after you left, that actually, you are rather…strange looking and maybe not quite my type…’

    Heath laughed, looked irritated, then despondent but as he got up Kate pleaded with him, ‘I’m joking. Look, I found our initials that we marked into the tree when we were children. Here they are, bigger than before, clear as if they were carved yesterday.’

    Sure enough, the initials of the pair were hidden at the base of the tree in a place only they knew to look. The letters were a legacy of their youth.

   ‘You see, I knew even then. There is no one else for me…and it is true. In this world or any other, I have known we were meant for each other…forever.’

     Kate placed her finger to his lips.

    ‘We don’t know what will happen, yet. We’ll find out tomorrow.’

     Tomorrow was Heath’s eighteenth birthday. Kate’s was three months later. After that, they planned to run away together and get married. They thought by making it all official, it would be difficult for Harrison to separate them. As the rain spat down upon the glass roof, Heath leant over the seat they shared and kissed Kate, pulling her closer. 

     ‘Kate Spencer, will you marry me?’

     ‘Yes,’ she said, confidently, after they kissed.

     ‘I don’t have the ring with me. It’s being made…so this is the informal proposal part…’    They’d been whispering about getting married for weeks. Once they were of age, they could sever all ties with Harrison and make their own decisions. Kate had already spoken to the vicar who had known her since childhood.

     Heath and Kate had been planning to elope for weeks but recent family events had hastened the proceedings. Kate put her arms around him and they hugged. Together, they fell onto the ground, laughing. The girl rolled on top of him; she was very strong and athletic and had him in a gridlock, on his back as he tried to shake her off, all the time trying to kiss her beautiful neck.

     Later that night, Kate wrote in her diary that her wedding to Heath would be a triumph of love and hope over reality.

    ‘I need to hear you say it, Heath. What I’m about to do - run away with you - means my family will disown me and we can’t ever behave like we did at the dance. There can never be…misunderstandings that we can’t fix.’

    ‘How can you doubt me for a second, Kate? You are my family now and I am yours. I have never loved nor will I love anyone the way I love you. You are everything to me. You are my world…and the only reason I’m here. I would have bolted a million miles away from Harrison by now if it didn’t mean I’d miss you so much…’ Suddenly the blood in Heath’s veins surged. His mouth felt dry. He recognized the taste of venom in his mouth.

     ‘Of course, I’m worried. Dr Vincent has told me that it’s unlikely I will revert but I may evolve. On my birthday, the day I reach ‘full maturity’ as he put it, we don’t know what will happen.’

    ‘Whatever happens,’ Kate said, ‘I promise to be there.’

    ‘Kate, I could start off mild…and then if I transition, I may become… uncontrollable.’

    ‘I love you, Heath.’

    ‘I love you too, Kate.’

    ‘That’s all I need to know.’

     Heath covered Kate in kisses as she laughed and brushed the ground off their clothes. 

    ‘I’m glad we’re making it official,’ Heath said.

     Kate smiled.

   ‘We only have to wait until three months after your birthday, it’s all arranged.’ Kate said.

     Heath hesitated, ‘Remember, neither of us knows what…my condition will mean…’ Just now, he’d nearly lost control and kissed her a little too close, too deep.

    ‘I accept you, no matter what. But,’ she joked, ‘if you think we’re too young…’

     Heath’s face dropped. ‘You mean you’re not sure?’

    ‘Yes, of course I’m sure. I just want to try to smooth things over with Harrison. It will be easier on us.’

    ‘Listen to me Kate, there is no “smoothing things over” with Harrison. He means to make our lives as difficult as possible. Harrison cannot be trusted. He will not help us and he will not help you if you try to make it up with him. You remember how he used to treat us as children? The hours where he would lock me in the basement and put you in a cupboard before father came home and discovered him? Don’t you remember his callous behaviour, the cruel beatings?’

  ‘Yes, of course I do. He was always jealous of how much father doted on us. He was jealous of how much you and I loved each other. He called our desires…unnatural. I often wondered what he meant since he was never told about your…condition.’  

   ‘I assumed he meant because we were raised together, but that hardly applies now.’

   ‘Harrison is practically my only family… apart from you. I always thought once he got over his teenage phase… you know he really went off the rails at boarding school, going to wild parties, indulging in bad behaviour. He brought all of that home with him. I just thought he might change.’

   ‘It’s his nature, Kate. Some people don’t change.’

    ‘It would be easier… if he did.’

    ‘You mean, it would be easier for us… financially.’

   ‘Well, yes. I am used to having nice things and a comfortable house…’

   ‘Those things aren’t important…’

    ‘I know but…’

    ‘You’re not listening to me, Kate. I will give you all of those things… and more…just not yet.’

    ‘We’re so young, Heath.’

    ‘Do you doubt me Kate?’

    ‘No, no I could never… I love you Heath. I would run away to the moon with you, but just give me these few days to try to smooth things over…then we’ll leave the moment I turn eighteen, either way. I promise.’

   Heath looked down at his shoes as Kate stood up and shook the blanket. She reached over and kissed him softly then ruffled his hair like she used to when they were children. He took her wrist and kissed it as if he would never release her from his touch.

   ‘I am yours, forever,’ Kate whispered. ‘Sometimes it scares me how much I love you. It is as if I have left my own self and you and I are complete, only when we are together.’

    They merged under the fading clouds as the shadows of two lovers became one in the dark.