TRULY by Summer Day (inspired by Persuasion) chapter Nineteen: "Unexpected Interlude"

Chapter Nineteen

Unexpected Interlude

I flung my sweater in the back seat of my old car, enjoying the adrenalin of the ride but not the thought of the destination. Los Angeles had always been a sea of concrete freeways to me, a place to become lost in…  

Confessions of a Post-teenage Hermit

     I walked up the familiar steps of Kellynch as Sam came bounding out.

   “Hello Jane,” he said, in a very grown up way.

   “Hi Sam,” I replied with a smile.

   “You’re pretty. I like your dress,” he added. What a charmer.

   ‘Thank you,” I replied. “I made it myself.”

     I’d made more than the usual effort this afternoon. The child came up to me, took my hand and led me into my familiar sitting room, overlooking the ocean.

   Sarah Croft entered the room. I apologised for missing her bonfire night and she said she understood. I handed her the spare set of keys.

   “Thanks. Sam, tell Jane what you’ve been doing.”

   “I’m just getting to that part,” he said with slight exasperation from having had his thunder stolen. I smiled. I’d been shown to a seat on a newly installed cream sofa. It was very luxurious – new luxury, not old.

  “I’ve been learning to swim,” Sam said.

  “Wow,” I said, “that’s great. I practised swimming here.  So did your Uncle Ben.” 

   “I remember Ben telling me,” Sarah said with the warmest smile. “I heard about your sister’s child. Is he okay?”

   “He’s fine. Oh, thanks for offering to take care of the piano.”

    “How can you bear to part with it?”

    “I’m afraid I don’t really have a choice,” I said. “To move it in the sea air would take an expert and I don’t want to risk damaging it.”

    “Well, I don’t play at all but I love to hear the sound of a piano. Would you like some tea or coffee, a hot chocolate?”

    I knew it would seem rude to refuse but being back in my old house was like being back at high school - after I’d left. There were ghosts in the hallways.

    “Hot chocolate, please.”

    Sarah excused herself and I spoke to her from the lounge room as Sam played with his trucks on the floor. I placed my hands over the keyboard.

    “There is nowhere else to store such a magnificent instrument,” I said under my breath, “that wouldn’t entail it being damaged. You are doing me a huge favor really, keeping it here,” I said loudly, as Sarah was in the kitchen.

     “We’ll keep it safe. I love baby grands.” Sarah continued. “I used to work in the theatre, I was a dancer, I’m sure my brother told you.”

     “No, but I saw Ben this morning. My cousins brought him into the coffee shop where I work.”

     “Oh,” Sarah said as if she knew more but didn’t want to speak. “Of course, I know you guys dated but Ben’s not really that verbal about his relationships.”

     I changed the subject, glancing at the piano.

     “I loved to play as a child but I’ve barely touched the keys for years,” Sarah called out from the kitchen.

    Ben’s sister returned with the drinks; her child was happily drawing at his play table, quietly. This was pretty impressive by anyone’s standards. A quiet, happy, occupied toddler was definitely a rare accomplishment.  

    “I don’t suppose you’d play me something before you leave?”

    “Um… I took a sip of my drink… I don’t think, well, everyone is used to electronic keyboards now.”

   “Please?” the little boy looked up at me.

   “Okay,” I nodded.

   I played something unexpected, a nursery rhyme with a few extra trills. It was a tune that Sam instantly recognized.

   Sarah smiled.

  “Did Mozart really compose Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when he was six?”

  “I’m not sure,” I replied.

  Then a voice spoke over the top of me…

  “Mozart supposedly composed variations of that nursery rhyme, when he was around six years old.”

  “Wow, Uncle Ben! You’re smart.”

   “Well, reports vary. You can google it.”

   Sam jumped up, grabbed his soccer ball and proceeded to drag Ben into the front garden with him.

    I stopped playing almost instantly.

   “Thank you for the drink, Sarah, but I have to go.”

   Sarah looked slightly disappointed.

   “Really? Please, come by again. I love it here but there is no one else my age to talk to. I don’t know anyone in this town but my brother thought it might be the perfect spot to vacation during the summer while my husband’s at the studios. So far, so good, but I miss my friends from New York.”

   “Wentworth is a lovely town,” I said reflectively.

   “My brother has good taste,” she said.  

    I smiled and picked up my bag, then hurried down the steps.

   “Jane … We’re all going sailing at the Pier tomorrow. I invited your cousins and both of your sisters. Won’t you join us?”

   “I… I… I’m working the early shift but I… I’ll try… ” I couldn’t think of a good excuse to say an outright no.

    Ben had pretty much ignored me by then and although his sister appeared to be making an effort on his part, he’d had ample opportunity to speak to me directly and had clearly decided not to. What was his problem? He just ‘unexpectedly’ arrived at Kellynch? Stalking me much? Then I remembered he never could have guessed I’d be here. Now, I was on his turf.

TRULY by Summer Day (inspired by Persuasion) chapter Twenty: "Sailing"

Chapter Twenty

Sailing

My sisters were determined to go; my cousins were already on their way. There was really no way I could get out of going sailing... even though it was truly obvious Ben wanted nothing to do with me. Besides, why would I let him steal my cousins and stalk me out of town?... Confessions of a Post-teenage Hermit

    Melissa sat on the couch at my father’s house, covered in baby items: clothes, diapers, cream, bottles and a rattle, waiting for the afternoon nanny to arrive.

   “Hey Missy, I’ve rarely seen you so hands on,” I said sarcastically as I arrived home.  

   “Here, take him,” my sister said, handing me the baby. “I have to change. I just finished feeding him before you arrived and he promptly threw up all over my new top. I’m coming sailing with you. Word spreads quickly by text.”

   I washed my hands and took the baby who gurgled and instantly sucked on my finger. Sitting on the side of the couch I prepared myself for my sister’s diatribe.

  “I cannot believe the afternoon nanny is this late!”

   “We could always go to Farmer’s Markets instead and just take him with us… “

   “Are you insane? I’ve pumped enough milk to stay out of this place for at least three hours and we are getting out of here and going sailing, like I said we would. Besides, I’m not going home to Venice Beach until Fred apologizes and I’m fed up with staring at these walls.”

    Fred had forgotten their wedding anniversary and Melissa was mortified. I listened to her complain for the twenty minutes it took her to get ready and hand me a new top to wear, more because she didn’t want to be embarrassed in public than because she actually wanted me to look good. 

     Finally, we were ready. The nanny arrived, the sleeping baby was kissed and we loaded up the car and took off to the marina with a quick stop at Wentworth’s Farmers’ Markets.

     We were an hour early and Melissa was starving. I was hoping she’d forget all about sailing if she was side tracked at the Farmers’ Markets near the Wentworth Marina. Eleanor and Liz were meeting us there. I drove. I loved driving to this part of California. The Marina and the markets were lovely. I drove right on the speed limit which went against my usually withdrawn personality. I was excited about lunch and the loud stereo drowned out Melissa’s nasal voice.

    “I’m looking forward to eating,” Melissa said, above the whirr of the engine. “Feeding babies makes you so hungry and the good news is, you don’t put on any more weight.”

    These were the gems of advice my younger sister supplied me with and I supposed one day I’d be grateful for them.

    “Yes,” I replied. I particularly liked the hot turkey sandwiches they sold at the Farmers Markets for lunch. That was exactly what I looked forward to as Melissa giggled and proceeded to tell me how thrilling it all was to be out of the house and “back in the outside world.”

      “Of course, my husband and children are everything to me. I don’t know how you can go through your life without them,” she added, as if I had a choice but no hope of ever finding a man of my own.

     Realistically, she was right. There was only a chance you’d meet the one in this life or that person wouldn’t be the one. Maybe there were twos, threes, sixes, eights and beyond. I knew, for some people, there were.

     Melissa continued, “Even if you joined every dating site on the planet, in the end, unless you wanted to sleep around indefinitely, men still seem to have the upper hand. Percentage wise, there are more straight, available females than straight, available, eligible males, once you get beyond a certain age. Of course, you haven’t reached that age, yet, but who knows?”

    “Thanks Missy. Thanks for your great advice. Considering you’ve been married since you were eighteen, your insights are really valuable,” I said sarcastically.  

     “Well, I’ve been doing some online research – for you.”

     “Thanks Melissa.”

     Perhaps Missy was right, although her criticisms of my choices always made her questionable ones seem more valid.

     I’d had one choice when it came to Ben, years ago, when I was unready to make it. Back then, I hadn’t seen through my family for the uncaring and ungenerous people they were. Even my sisters had treated me a lot worse the past few years when they both seemed to have the upper hand with daddy.

      Dad thought Liz was everything he would have wished a son to be - ruthless and driven, in a much prettier package. Their closeness was claustrophobic, I thought, as I ate my turkey roll once we’d parked and found a table at our favorite cafe. I wasn’t jealous. I was just lost. Melissa snapped me out of my silence.

   “I heard all about that handsome Air Force officer you used to date in high school, Jane. You never told me about him.”

   The fact that Melissa had sought out my company on this occasion was unusual. I should have known she wanted extra gossip to relay to Liz.

   “Uh, huh,” I said, checking my cell for messages.

    “Well?”

    “You were younger and I was away at school, so there seemed no point in discussing it.”

     “Well, Eleanor seemed to know all about him. I hate the way you and Liz always leave me out of everything. You two are so close!”

     “As if. If you must know, I’m over it,” I lied.

     “Good, because I think Lia likes him…”

     “Really? What makes you say that?”

     “Oh, she was asking if you guys were close…”

      I bristled but said nothing. Of course, it would be natural for him to like Lia. Everyone liked my cousins.

     “Oh Jane, you have to keep trying to meet someone or else how will you ever have a family of your own? Sure, you could go to a clinic…”

     “What? I’m really over this, Melissa. Your obsession with my romantic life is a joke. Maybe you should take care of your own. I’m in my twenties, not one hundred and nine and the discussion regarding my desire to marry and have children is over!”

     Both of my sisters and my father (to tell the truth) made me want to catch the first flight out of LA for good. I think I would have by now if I’d kept enough savings to buy a ticket.

    “Oh Jane, there is no need to get upset. I’m just trying to help.” Melissa stuffed her face with chips from my plate as she finished her lunch. “I really needed that.”           

     There was silence for a moment as we waited for everyone else to arrive.

     “Keira is having a party for Lia and Hailee’s birthday next month. No excuses, I promise to keep my children safe. Besides, I already accepted the invitation for you.”

     My younger sister prattled on like a teenager as I mentally did the sums and tried to work out when I’d have enough money to rent a place of my own again.

    Melissa checked her text, “Now, I have to be home at six, but that gives us a good few hours, Jane, let’s go. Everyone is meeting us at the jetty.”  Liz had been working and taken the afternoon off also, at Melissa’s insistence. It was easier to do that when you directed the family company. My cousins texted me to let me know everyone was already there, including Ben and Harley.

    “I don’t know…” I hesitated. I tried to think of an excuse.

    “Oh well, we needn’t go,” Melissa paused.

    “Mmm…”

    “Are you kidding? I’ve hardly been out of the house all week – I have at least two unused bathing suits in my purse. We can go swimming on Worth Island. C’mon,” my sister literally dragged me from the table.

    “I’m doing the evening shift, remember. I changed it all around so we could go to lunch but I’m not sure when we’ll be back…”

    “Jane, you’re the best sister in the world but it’s time you stopped being such a stick in the mud. Live a little.”

    “Whatever,” I said. Liz waved at me in the distance. Harley and Ben were talking to Lia and Hailee. I noticed Lia was leaning in close to Ben and giggling. Melissa was probably right. They were made for each other. I could care less; I was so over these so-called coincidences.

      “I don’t know, Liz. I think I might just get going. I just realized I have to get to work earlier than I thought.”

      Melissa spun around, “Are you nuts, Jane? They have an amazing yacht!”

      “I could care less,” I said.

      Big deal, I thought, men with money didn’t exactly equal a good value system as far as I knew. Just look at my father, an obvious example. I pulled on my sunglasses and plastered a smile on my face as we walked towards the boat. There was safety in numbers, for sure.

TRULY by Summer Day (inspired by Persuasion) chapter Twenty-one "The Marina"

Chapter Twenty-one

The Marina

The atmosphere was as icy as the ocean and I had no idea why I’d been snowballed into this one… Confessions of a Post-teenage Hermit

    Ben stood at the pier looking extremely hot up close. His brother Harley also looked pretty cool.

     As luck would have it, a few of the women, ex-Socials from the mothers’ group at the café, were going for their morning power walk. They nearly pushed their toddler buggies into us as my cousins waved hello and Ben and Harley smiled. I couldn’t help but notice Ben was far more welcoming to my sisters than me, whom he still chose to more or less ignore. Two could play that game.

     I was embarrassed that the Wentworth brothers had seen me humiliated in my low-paying job. They must have heard those girls I’d gone to high school with talking about me like no one had wanted me enough to marry me – as if that was the high point of success with the divorce rate heading towards fifty percent! I wandered what people like Missy and the ex-Socials had to be so smug about as they looked back and waved at Harley and Ben.

      If I was supposed to be “getting over Ben,” spending the afternoon in his company was probably a bad start. 

      There he stood, waiting for us at the pier; or were we just an excuse for the Wentworth brothers to hang with my cousins?

      The boat was huge, so big in fact that Liz had even invited Tom Winchester. Apparently they wanted to view some real estate from the coast line. It was like a Hallowed Halls reunion on the high seas. All we needed was Serena and Dana. Serena was somewhere near Singapore by now and Dana was on the opposite side of the marina, thankfully.

     “Good to see you again, Jane,” Harley said. Ben ignored me and smiled at my cousin Lia and then started showing Hailee how the boat worked.   

     If Ben and I were ever meant to be, that was in the past. Our so-called “love affair” was some serious ancient history. Get over it, I told myself. Now, I thought, snap your fingers, you are over it. 

    “Are you coming Jane?” Melissa shouted over to me as I lagged behind, buying a bottle of water.

   “Sure,” I said, pretending to act cool even though my father had long since sold his boat as part of our intra-family funding drive (it was the one possession he’d agreed to part with since he preferred tennis to sailing these days anyway). I just pretended going sailing in Wentworth on a beautiful boat at the pier, was the most normal thing on the planet. 

     Harley gave me a very friendly smile as I stepped onto the gangplank.

    “It’s great to see you again, Jane.”

    I looked at him, “… um, good to see you too.” 

    “All the time we were posted overseas, Ben dreamt of going sailing here, at home…”

    Ben was chatting amiably with my sisters, portside. Harley and I stood on the opposite side, talking to me.

    “I didn’t know the cousins were coming,” Melissa whispered.

     “Well, I didn’t ask them,” Liz replied.

     “I included them,” Ben said, smiling. “It was their idea in the first place.”

     “Of course,” Melissa said, hiding her true feelings. “What a great idea.”

      I raised my eyebrow, embarrassed at Liz’s transparency. The garrulousness and natural beauty of our younger cousins had always irritated Liz and Melissa, since it took the focus off them. I, on the other hand, liked it. But perhaps allowing them to take centre stage hadn’t been the wisest idea. After all, they hardly needed “extra light shined on them to get noticed,” as my Godmother, Eleanor, once said. I think Eleanor thought they made me seem plain and dull by comparison, but I didn’t care. I loved my cousins, they were warm and funny. They included me and made me laugh.

     The girls made a huge production of going swimming once we reached the small island about half an hour from the marina.  

    Hailee stepped gingerly over the edge and Ben held out his hand politely.

    “Catch me! Lia said to Ben as he turned around and my cousin jumped from the edge of the boat to the sand in double quick time.

     I remembered Lia doing that when she was about eight when she took ballet and gymnastics classes.

     I looked over at Lia; my outgoing younger cousin was swift and fast and she landed on her feet with ease. Harley moved forward but Ben got there first. Lia’s hand grabbed his and she seemed to linger closely to his chest. He laughed it off as she giggled.

     I sighed as I rolled up my jeans and scrunched my hair in a loose bun. I’d applied some gloss and made an effort to look beachier than I felt.

     As I walked along the gangplank, Ben just glanced up at me disinterestedly, as if to silently say, you’re next, then he turned his back on me to continue talking with Lia. I stepped onto the boat myself; being careful not to slip in the water puddle that Lia had created.

     Harley waited expectantly on the other side. Obviously, there was no getting out of this without appearing rude and offending him.

     We all jumped into the sheltered lagoon. I wore a swimsuit of Melissa’s previously unworn and discarded but although it covered my curves it also accentuated them. Let’s just say, it was the first time Ben truly looked at me all day. Whatever. The water was warm and restorative. My cousins were making good use of the rope swing hanging from a branch.

     They were still diving in when I got out to dry off. Lying in the sun behind a tree on my striped beach towel, I overheard Hailee, who had been pushed aside by Melissa and was standing closest to me, say, “Honestly, sometimes I wish Jane had married poor Fred…”

    Ben looked at her in disbelief.

   “Jane?” He said my name as if he couldn’t believe anyone else would have ever wanted to marry me.

   ‘Shh,” Hailee whispered.

   “Oh yes,” Lia said, “he asked Jane first but she was busy with college and not really into him. Besides, her Godmother talked her out of it.”

    I could hear their conversation through the splashes, even as I stood to drag on my shoes.

   “Her Godmother?” Ben asked.

   “Yes, Jane takes all of her advice.”

    I imagined Ben inwardly cringing before Sam, Ben’s nephew ran over to me and Sarah flopped on the edge of my towel in the sun.

    “You know,” she said, “this is the most beautiful place on earth; I don’t know how my brothers can stand to leave it.”

    “I agree,” I said as we scooped up Sam and our belongings and trundled back to the sailing boat. 

    Shore could not come quickly enough, though everyone on board was busy oohing and ahhing over the scenery along the coast.

    Meanwhile, Ben unravelled some rope. I’m sure it hadn’t occurred to him that I’d paid any attention to his conversation with my cousin. He kept his back turned on me rudely as I stepped off the bow of the boat directly into a pool of sea water; I slid onto the floor of the jetty. As I tried to get up, I hit my knee hard, and gashed it so deeply; it looked like I might need stitches.

   “Are you okay?” Lia said, rushing over. She brought the first-aid kit and wrapped up my leg with a bandage.

   For a second, I’d blacked out.

  “I’m fine,” I said.

   I looked up to see Ben’s handsome face looming over me. His palm cradled my head, momentarily. His expression changed from one of concern to a complete lack of interest in seconds as he placed my head back on the ground once I appeared conscious and unhurt, at least on the surface.

    “Yes,” I said, dazed.

    Then, before I knew it, Ben scooped me up in his arms and carried me towards the table and chairs outside the café that formed part of the marina. He told everyone he’d wait with me. I rubbed my head but felt fine.

    I couldn’t believe Ben wanted to be alone with me. Then, as I listened to the conversation that followed, I realized, he didn’t. This was just an excuse to get rid of me.  Ben and I sat on a bench like strangers in silence.

   “I’m really fine. It’s a slight graze on my knee, it’s nothing.”

   “You should probably get your head checked and not jolt around on a boat. I’ll come with you, if you want,” he offered reluctantly.

    “It’s okay. My Godmother just texted, she’s coming to meet me,” I interrupted. Bad news travels fast. Hailee must have tipped her off.

    “Uh, okay,” he said, and then we said nothing for a few minutes. During that time, Ben turned and looked into my eyes as if he wanted to say something then he thought better of it and got up to buy us both some water from the store. The next ten minutes passed in stony silence as we sipped. Then I decided to speak up.  

    “The truth is, Ben, I didn’t plan on coming sailing with you and Harley. I kind of got talked into it.”

    “I can imagine that.”

     I ignored his insinuation that I couldn’t make up my own mind.

     “What happened between us remains…”

    “I know…” Ben looked at me coldly, “unforgiven.”

     “That wasn’t what I…”

     He looked up, wishing to change the subject, “Here’s your Godmother.” Ben went to open the car door as Eleanor pulled over. I turned around.

    “Make sure you get your head checked out properly… what’s your street again?”

    “I’m staying in Bel Air for a while… with my father. It’s not necessary for you to open the door…”

     He interrupted me, frowning, “But you dislike living in that part of Los Angeles. I remember that from years ago.”

    “I’ve changed,” I lied, I longed for the bliss of the water views here in Wentworth. “I think it suits me better than it did… before,” I turned around and got into the cab, blood rising in my cheeks, determined that this would be the last time I’d speak to Ben alone.

    He was so over me; it was obvious he’d just returned to pay me back for calling off our stupid teenage engagement years ago, and I didn’t blame him. Even though he’d recently acted like a tool, a man like him – good, handsome, tall, rich, kind, brave and humble hearted, could have anyone he wanted, deserved anyone he wanted.

     I’d treated him badly and I probably deserved to be treated dismissively now. Let’s face it; my family had been ignorant snobs and I’d just been plain wrong. There were no words to describe my bitter regret at our having parted so long ago, but I didn’t need any further humiliation.

     There was no point in prolonging his torment. He acted like spending ten minutes by my side was worse than drinking poison. Nevertheless, Ben closed the door for me. As he did this, his fingers lingered on my own for a moment. I pulled my hand away as the door slammed behind me.

     My Godmother greeted me warmly in the car after peering at Ben. He lingered beyond the window as the blood in my cheeks started to rise and the car moved forward. 

TRULY by Summer Day (inspired by Persuasion) chapter Twenty-two "Freedom"

Chapter Twenty-two

Freedom

It was so clear to me now. He’d returned to let me know how little he’d missed me. This truth betrayed another fact – he must have thought of me, at least once… Confessions of a Post-teenage Hermit

    That evening, my Godmother and I were seated on the swaying chairs on her front porch. We were drinking freshly squeezed juices after returning from the medical centre where I’d had my knee plastered to the tune of, “no permanent damage, unless you count a hard to see scar,” I was told brightly. I did.

    “Perhaps you’ve got it all wrong. It is possible to misinterpret things, Jane. Clearly, I did, once.” My Godmother reminded me, “Jealousy is an affliction most people suffer from, men just as much as women, believe it or not. Don’t try to read too much into Ben Wentworth’s behavior. I think he’s still hurt from the past, which means you must have meant more to him than he’s prepared to reveal. But I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, you need to move on,” my Godmother told me as she patted my hand and we sat together drinking freshly squeezed orange juice.      

    I wished I’d been strong enough in my teens to go against my father’s and Eleanor Russell’s wishes. I wished I’d simply followed my heart but hadn’t Ben’s recent behavior betrayed a point of conflict between us? I’d tried so hard to forget him, yet his memory wouldn’t fade and his re-entry into my life had shaken me.  

    My Godmother and I had dinner together that night after my sisters arrived home raving about what great sailors the Wentworth brothers were. Then Hailee and Keira checked their dating sites and tried to get me involved in one as well. I had tried this game before and it wasn’t for me, I was adamant. Even so, I fielded Keira’s messages because she’d asked me to and I have to admit, it was quite an education. When I got bored with categorizing the messages into must reads, don’t bothers, and read with caution, I prepared for Vacation Day at Wentworth Elementary.

   The school held these informal catch up sessions over summer – one off day camps where kids who weren’t going away could spend a day hanging out doing plays and drama and sporting activities.

    This was held twice a month and I usually volunteered to help out if I was in Wentworth. No problem this year. Tomorrow night, I’d also promised Keira I’d go to hear her sing in a club near the shore.   

     My cousin Keira had had a pretty crazy life thus far, trying to make it as a MAW: Model / Actress / Whatever - with every other person in La La Land. After a squillion auditions she’d been hired to sing in a small bar at night called the Mermaid Hut for the rest of summer.

    I was happy that the friendship between us was still strong. Let’s face it; Keira was more like a sister to me than my own. No matter what was going on in her life, Keira never forgot to call me on my birthday and always sent a gift. These were small but important gestures that I always returned.

    Eleanor and I finished a dress I’d been working on to wear to Keira’s club debut. It was blue and summery like the sky and I’d drafted the pattern in the latest style, long at the hem but scalloped to the knees around the front. I hugged Eleanor after we’d finished the fitting. The dress was just right. We had dinner together before I returned home. That night, I slept restlessly, tossing and turning and thinking about Ben and his real reason for being back in town.

    The next morning, I dressed early.

     Melissa was still staying with us, even though she’d been home twice since she arrived. Now, both the twins and her nanny were also here. The toddlers dodged my feet as I tried to find my way out of the Bel Air house. The manicured gardens were surprisingly quiet although I heard the rustle through the breeze as my Dad and Liz chattered in the distance over drinks about all of the important clients who were coming for dinner.  My former teacher, Lilly Clay, had also been invited. I realized, just as Eleanor predicted, my father had started seeing her. I hoped this situation would run its course without any input from me. Meanwhile, my father barked orders as I walked by.

   “I hope you intend to put on something decent tonight, Jane.”

    “Yes, Dad. I wouldn’t want to wear anything but my best to support Keira.”

    “Keira?” He asked puzzled.

    “Yes, I’m going to see her show tonight,” I said, breezing past him. It was weird. I’d felt lighter within and surer of my step, ever since Ben had come back into my world, even if I couldn’t sleep. Nevertheless, I wondered if a shelter would have been a better bet than my father’s house and my sister’s indifference.

     “Where are you going now?”

     “It’s Vacation Care Day at Wentworth Elementary, dad. I told you, I’m meeting Keira afterwards.”

      My father raised his woolly eyebrows. He had no right to ask, really, but I played along. A part of me wanted to shock dad (easily done) and say, “to meet up with my secret boyfriend and continue with our clandestine relationship,” but we had no real closeness so it was barely worth my humor. Instead, I added dutifully, “I have the costumes finished for the Day Play and there are also meetings with a couple of teachers and parents about next semester. Then, after I go to hear Keira sing, I’m spending the night with my cousins in Wentworth.”    

     “With your bulimic cousin?” he asked.

     “Keira’s not bulimic, dad. She had depression and she’s getting help. Her therapist said it was partly brought on by family pressures…”

     “Well, that’s not what Serena Collins told me,” Liz added judgementally. I’d forgotten they were friends. I was truly beginning to feel like Cinderella so I ignored my family’s derisive comments adding, “Okay, so, see ya.”

     My father looked at me in disbelief.

    “You mean, you’d give up an important dinner with your family to go and socialize with a bunch of bulimics and losers in Wentworth?” My father looked shocked.

     I responded with equal outrage, “If you’re talking about Keira again, she’s not bulimic, she’s hardly a loser and she’s your niece, dad.”

     Let’s just say my father wasn’t very fond of his younger brother (my uncle). They were never close but were even less friendly now that my uncle had begun to earn more than my father. My uncle also managed to do it with a better attitude. As a result of this disconnect, daddy now disregarded his “flippant” nieces in retaliation. Dad had behaved a lot worse towards his brother since the financial collapse. Just goes to show, you never really know a person’s true character until things go badly for them.

    “Just wait a moment, Jane. I was hoping you’d be here tonight. I’d like all of my daughters at home.”

     I stood my ground.

     “Well, dad, you should have told me in advance because I’m not cancelling out on Keira.”

     Elizabeth shrugged, continuing to finish her newspaper puzzle with the twins squirming around her feet, whilst Melissa started to giggle as she handed some unfolded baby clothes to the nanny who had already unpacked some puzzles in the upstairs nursery. They lay in wait to “keep the children quiet” at my father’s request. Honestly, if Dad hadn’t been so wealthy (and everyone still thought he was), I think his influence would have faded by now.

      “I know why Jane wants to go to Wentworth…”  Liz said mischievously.

      I could never expect my younger cousins to keep a secret.

      “Jane’s former fiancée is back in town… turns out it’s his sister renting the beach house…” Melissa added.

     “I told you both, I have to go to school and help out!” I was exasperated. “You might all be interested to know I’ve moved on. I’m even enrolling in college next semester, if my scholarship comes through.”

     “At the fashion school, with your cousins?”  My father asked, unimpressed.

    “Not necessarily. There is more than one campus and although the fashion course is partially online, I could transfer if I decide to finish my education degree.”

     My father shrugged.

    “Oh, Jane,” Liz said, “you know what happened last time. Perhaps you’re not really the college type.”

    “That’s true Jane, and you shouldn’t let Ben Wentworth make you feel inferior just because he’s a high achiever now...” Melissa continued.

    “You can talk! He was always a high achiever as you put it, and so was I!”

     “Ben Wentworth?” My father added. “Isn’t he the loser we all talked you out of marrying years ago?”

     I was both breathless and speechless at my father’s relentless impropriety. Finally, I’d had enough. I just could not get out of the door without saying what I thought – finally.

     “Dad, you know nothing about him. He’s now an officer in the Air Force and soon he’ll commence training to be a fighter pilot.”

     “Oh yes, daddy, he’s practically a war hero and a pilot,” Melissa said excitedly, as if she were sixteen instead of in her twenties.

    My father just grunted, “very dangerous job…” and shook his head.

    He was right of course. I didn’t want to admit that. But even if Ben and I were still together I could never talk him out of doing what he loved most. I had no right to do that. I knew now, I could not hope to control my own life, let alone his. 

    Arguing with Dad was both exhausting and pointless.  I stopped in my tracks, gathered my pretty pink summer cardigan from the back of a summer chair, (it would go well with my new dress), and slammed the front gate behind me after I left.

     Driving along the freeways in the afternoon light was liberating. I had been swimming laps that morning, early, in my father’s swimming pool (another extravagance he could not afford). Although the exercise kept me sane, driving totally cleared my head. The roads were pure escapism. The only place I never drove to now was Wentworth Canyon. I’d never returned there since Jenny was killed and I was pretty sure no one else that was with me that night had either. I’d never, never go back there. That was one of the few truths I was sure of.

TRULY (inspired by Persuasion) chapter Twenty-three: "School Days Again"

Chapter Twenty-three

School Days Again

Wentworth Elementary was bustling with stay-at-home students and adults. It had the atmosphere of a theme park – fun with rules… Confessions of a Post-teenage Hermit   

     I’d brushed my hair until it shone in the car mirror and exchanged my flats for heels. Looking my best was a priority, since I was giving a speech to the parents on creativity in the classroom, but I could never drive in heels. I unwound my lipstick and put it on in the rear view mirror. For once I was glad my sister had insisted on stuffing make-up in my purse, “just in case.” I know my sister wanted me to meet a new guy, and I had to agree that would probably be best. I certainly wouldn’t meet one here, but it was good practise to start looking my best in any situation. Besides, my students deserved me to look the part. It was about setting an example, making the best of myself, according to Melissa. My sisters and Godmother had been influential but it was time to start counting on myself.  

    Although I don’t think I’d ever fulfilled the “promise of being a great beauty” I was satisfied I looked presentable.  I once overheard my father agree with my sister Melissa when she shook her head and said, “if only Jane had a bit more… designer style. I mean, the clothes she makes are lovely, but I only ever see her in jeans…”

   “Yes,” my father nodded at her, actually nodded.

    Here, on my turf, I was my own person with my own style.

    It was only as an adult, after I’d lost Ben that I’d realized I was surrounded by a family of hornets in the nest of a Bel Air mansion. Why had it taken me until then? It wasn’t as if my mom hadn’t run a mile. But then, she had not set the greatest example either, although from visits over the years, I knew she loved me and vice versa. Perhaps I should have gone to stay with her but she had long since remarried and had a whole new family and although we stayed in touch we hardly shared secrets. It was time to embrace the future. It had been, for a while.

    I walked past the student murals in the hallway to my color coded classroom. The children were getting their faces painted for the play. I put on an apron and helped out. There were twelve students and their parents or guardians scheduled to arrive and be part of the audience which was often made up of the kids in my class who didn’t stay away all summer. They liked familiarity. I was talking to them alongside the teacher, a kind, older woman named Sophia Hawthorne.

     George arrived with his mother, who looked harassed. He had brought extra face paints with him. Most of these parents were incredibly hard working and thankful for the extra effort taken with their children. It was truly a privilege to work with Special Needs students. I’m sure they taught me more than I ever taught them. They taught me to enjoy the small pleasures, to place no value on class or status or money. Like Toby, for example, who took great care searching the pictures and paintings for things I’d never notice, like intense colour and light; he’d present his pictures to me like they were Picassos!

    My students taught me it was no effort to take extra care because every child is special and capable of more. By the time I’d fielded a last minute call from Toby’s mom (who told me her child couldn’t come as he was “completely wired” after “attacking” and “eating” a packet of chocolate cookies his older brother had left open  in the Lounge room - Toby was allergic to sugar), it was almost time to start getting the students ready.

    Sophia made us some tea after the children were taken backstage and readied to perform with their music teacher (not before one of them had knocked a bucket of water over on the floor as they left). I couldn’t believe the janitor had left it there but I guess he had his reasons. 

     I was in the process of cleaning up the puddle with paper towels and real towels when I looked up to see Ben’s nephew standing in the doorway

    “Hi Jane…” he said.

    “Hi,” Ben said, standing behind him, filling the doorway with his baritone voice.

    “Hi,” I replied.

    “My sister was called into the studios and I don’t have to be in Texas for another few days so I thought I’d come. I was told it was two in the afternoon. We still have twenty minutes.”

    “Oh. Yeah. Texas?”

     “Pilot training.”

     “Oh,” I said.

     “My sister had a meeting with her agent and Sam’s father had to work so we thought we’d come together.”

     Sam beamed up at his uncle.

     “Great,” I said sarcastically.

     “Where’s Mrs Hawkins?”  The kid said.

     “Oh, she’s with our group, preparing them to go onstage. That’s where I should be going, right about now.” I got up off the floor and brushed off my skirt.

    “Before we go, my sister wants to know… about Sam’s reading progress.”

     I glanced at the chart.

    “Well, he’s on level eight which is great for a pre-schooler. Amazing.” I looked at Sam. “It means you can choose anything on the red shelf and just bring it back when school starts again in September.”

    Sam smiled and ran off to the library corner to start choosing his vacation reading.

    Meanwhile, Ben and I stood there; hovering at the classroom entrance until Sam dragged Ben into the color coded area and pulled him onto the beanbag.

    “Oh, um, we have a chair and desk,” I smiled.

     “That’s okay, I like it here.”

      I hesitated. “Well, my group is performing soon so…” Ben got up.

      There was more silence in the room from the moment Sam chose some holiday reading. Sophia arrived and ushered him with her.

     “I’m coming… We’re coming in a moment.”

     “Okay,” she smiled at Ben.

     I didn’t know which way to look or what to say so I just stood there, and gathered my bag when Ben cleared his throat.

    “How’s Keira?”

    “She’s fine.”

    “How’s Harley?”

    “Not so good.”

    I looked up, betraying an expression of concern.

    “He… never really got over Jenny and I’m kind of worried about him.”

    “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

    “That’s another reason we decided to take the summer and hang out here, as a family. This is the place we were happiest.” He paused and continued to discuss his brother, “He never really moved on from what happened.”

    I was open-mouthed.

   “That’s so… sad.” I added. “I think about her all the time too, but I know it’s different for him.” I said softly. Then I paused again before I spoke, “And yet, Harley is still young and I know Jenny would have wanted him to be happy.”

    “First love and all that,” he looked away. “I don’t know if people totally get over something like that…”

    “No…” I ventured slowly, “… but Harley is still young and surely, he will meet someone else.”

     Ben paused for a moment before answering.

    “Perhaps, but he is very loyal, a quality I most admire in a person.” 

    Well, that was setting me straight. I looked at him squarely. It was way too obvious he was not just talking to me, but about me. I was speechless once again as Sophia Hawthorne gracefully returned to her classroom, popped her head in the door and I stood up.

    “Are you coming Jane? They’re almost ready.”

    “Yes,” I assured her.   

    Ben flashed Sophia a smile. He was very charming when he wanted to be.

    As I went to leave he touched my arm.

    “Jane, I wanted to ask you something. We’re going to dinner tonight after we hear Keira sing at the café and you… and your cousin are welcome to join us. Some place called the Mermaid Hut. Please come, we’re arriving at eight. Lia is coming as well.”

    I knew it. If he wanted to see my cousins again, all he had to do was ask. Didn’t he think that encroaching on my territory was enough humiliation for one night?

    “Um… I’m already going. Keira is singing, so, well, I guess I’ll see you there.”

    Then I remembered it was his birthday. I couldn’t think of an excuse to say no.

    “We’re going to drown our sorrows after dinner...”

    Our sorrows? I wondered what he meant by that.  

    “Well, I don’t really drink but…”

    “Maybe we could talk?”

    Silence sat between us for seconds.

    I looked up at Ben. “Sure, see you then,” I said, as I walked out the door.