Chapter Twenty-seven
Say Yes
My
mind was reeling…
Confessions of a Post-teenage Hermit
That
night, I slept wild dreams, over and over. I dreamt about how everything could
have been. I dreamt of Ben.
I dreamt history hadn’t repeated. History
was different. Ben and I hadn’t broken up after school ended. Instead, we
roamed the beaches of Cabo on that Mexican holiday we’d always intended to take.
Children were running around beside us flying kites and paper planes overhead
in the breeze. As I lay on the beach in the sun, a little child spoke to me,
“Open your eyes,” he said. Then Ben peered over me as both man and child splashed
me with water and Ben dragged me into the ocean, uncaring, happy and free.
The baby screeched me awake. Melissa seemed
to be able to lie in, ignore it.
I trundled upstairs.
“The nanny should arrive at nine,” she said
blurrily, “Then we’re going home. I made it up with Fred. The truth is, we love
each other and we’re going to work it out.”
“Well I’m very happy for you, Melissa,” I
said.
“Oh, by the way,” Melissa couldn’t resist
telling me this. “I have it on good authority that a Wentworth stayed through
the next night with our cousin Lia. He slept on the couch.”
“Excuse me?”
For a moment, I thought she meant Ben. I
felt lost.
“Oh, don’t look so worried. It was the
other Wentworth, Harley. Apparently they’re into each other.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, only that it appears our younger cousins know how to get a man…”
“Well, only that it appears our younger cousins know how to get a man…”
“Are you serious? You think Lia jumped
off the pier to get Harley’s attention?”
“I wouldn’t put it past her. Anyway, he’s
a partner in Ben’s company so she’s got a good catch there.”
Liz shouted out in agreement.
“Yes, Jane, Lia knows quality when she
sees it.”
That was it for me. Finally, I found my voice,
the one that had been welling up inside me for a while, and I used it.
“You know what Liz? Tom just might be
the man for you and you’ve pushed him away. Don’t make the same mistake I did
since I’m such a walking warning to you both. And as for you Missy, while
you’re fixing your semi-perfect relationship, maybe you should be enrolling in
parenting classes at the same time.”
“Oh, that’s rich Jane. Maybe when you, if
you, ever have children and a husband you’ll understand just how much juggling
is involved.”
“Maybe you’re right, but that doesn’t give
you or Liz the right to treat me like a non-person.”
Liz was standing at the door looking quite
shocked.
“Where do you both get these ideas from
about me having no idea what it means to have pressures? All women have
pressures, married or not and all women have barriers; we should be working
together as a family. In case you both haven’t noticed there is a huge
financial crisis going on in this house; and not just in this house!”
My sisters just stood and stared.
“No need to shout, Jane,” Missy said.
“Yes, Jane,” Liz added, “I think we take
your point.”
People, including your own family, can
only make you feel less than, if you let them.
Melissa was open mouthed after my little
tirade. I left the house for work in a hurry.
Liz must have thought about what I said;
when I arrived at the café a conciliatory text was waiting for me on my cell.
As a
sister, Jane, we love you. Apology given from two in awe of you and yours is
duly accepted.
Apology? What apology.
Please, I hadn’t even sent one.
As I polished the countertop, I realized I
probably would have, eventually. I hated fighting with my sisters but enough
was enough.
Liz could learn something from me? I
wonder what she meant by that? Had Melissa also learnt how to “prioritize and
put herself first” from all the advice on How
to Live the Perfect Life blogs she read? Probably. I liked surfing the net
as much as the next person but external encouragement was no excuse for always putting herself first. Then I
realized Melissa was used to me taking care of everything. Perhaps it was time
for Missy to sort out her own life. And
Liz was my older sister. Perhaps she didn’t need dating advice. Perhaps she’d
learnt from my mistake to take the man that made the effort, that loved her, the
one that was her match; even to be
exclusive, now that Tom was prepared to show his hand.
Keira was right when she said it was time
for me to stand up for myself. My sisters would be forced to take a bit more
responsibility, to end our co-dependency. So would I. Especially if I transferred my
college courses to another state.
Of
course, I’d miss my young nephews (especially when they weren’t shrieking), but
I’d see them often. It was time to move on, even if I was sure to be on my own and I had barely any
money and I’d be more than a little lost at first. It was time to make some new friends, perhaps
even make my father and sisters miss me (at least for a semester). I could probably even
arrange a loan from Eleanor.
